Mixed-Up Melange

The Fleece and Fiber Sourcebook - The book fiber geeks need!

2011-06-08T00:22:00.000-07:00

If you can't have all the cool sheep and you don't have the bucks to visit all the cool sheep then you need to get this book! Deb Robson and Carol Ekarius have done the footwork, washed all the fleeces, and made all the samples... Plus... they got to meet and photograph Many Many of the worlds most fabulous sheep (and some other fibery animal friends). This is an amazing reference and just a shear (pun intended) joy to read. I just wish I could hang out with all the sheep and pet them up close. I'm odd that way. :)

This book is available http://www.storey.com/book_detail.php?isbn=9781603427111&cat=Animals%20&%20Farming&p=0 here and other places (linked on that very page!).

If you want to keep up with Deb (and she is so much fun to read on her blog)... Go visit her at http://independentstitch.typepad.com/ She also has an expounding article on the SOAY sheep in Spin-Off Magazine this month!!! This includes more information (and more photos) than appear in her book. I love the Soay Sheep, one of the rare breeds.

Here is a blog of someone who raises them (How I wish I could go and play!!!) http://priscilla.saltmarshranch.com/ The lambs are just adorable (yes, I know all lambs are adorable), but the eyes on these are just beautiful. I wonder if anyone would notice me carry one off on a plane in my carry on??? They are not that large. Well, wishful thinking aside, the Soay are simply an amazing breed and quite ancient. Another post on them another time.

I've been learning about sheep for years and I feel more than spoiled to have this book right in front of me on the table just Tempting me to spend a little more time before I pop off to sleep...reading about all the possibilities. ahhhh. Thank you so much to Deb and Carol!!!

Another Book Review of her book is at : http://www.enneacollective.com/?p=2340

Overcome by cuteness

2011-06-06T22:09:00.000-07:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Really, I thought about it... and I simply could not face clicking the page goodbye. I love sheep and this one is special! I hope you don't think I'm too hokie... enjoy!

So much going on!!!

2011-02-25T10:11:00.000-08:00

There are days when I long for a friend next door to go and sip coffee with (or something stronger in the evening) and to bring our wheels and geek out over string and fiber. My fellow fiber fiends live near and far, but no one is in my immediate area. Happily there are some guilds and lots of fiber people in my State (and even on the southern end of it... ;) But it all makes one think... what is going on and where can I go to play??? So it is kind of like giving a Mouse a cookie and he asks you for a glass of milk.... I got to roaming around on the computer and there is quite a LOT going on if you are looking for a place to be.... Not the least of which is your local or semi-local guild... And there are places to travel to for a weekend... for a week... lots of fiberlicious things going on...

So last weekend I went to the Scottish Fair and spun for two days (with an occasional meat pie thrown in accompanied to the fairly good Scottish pipes). Free entrance, free parking, spinning with friends all day... what's not to like? (This is a shameless plug for > Go support your local demos!!! More fiber better!).

I'm going to list some things and you take it from there! List some things back in the comments... I'll list some more in the coming months -- we can all get together and have a spin-in this way!

Greater Los Angeles Spinning Guild: Meets monthly on the 4th Saturday. There is a pre-meeting mentoring session, meeting, program, and snack. Tomorrow is a program on Spindling!
Southern Ca Handweavers Guild: Meets 2nd Saturday of the Month. They have a yearly SCHG Fiber Festival, Show and Sale that is really a fun low stress time with loads of great vendors.

Maybe I should do an entire post of Southern CA guilds.. but these two should lead you to others in your areas.. there are loads of smaller guilds all over.

Some upcoming events over the next few months:

Stringtopia! April 29 to May 1, 2011 Ohio   This weekend event being planned by Abby Franquemont (author of 'Respect the Spindle' and two videos, is a New venue and sounds fabulous! It will be in Lebanon Ohio -- South of Columbus - Near Kings Island. Featured will be a weekend of classes by Abby Franquemont, Jacey Boggs (Insubordiknit), and Morgaine Wilder (Carolina Homespun)... oh, and did I mention shopping! Yes! Morgaine will be stopping and teaching, but also selling her fabulous fiber wares BEFORE she gets to Maryland Sheep and Wool! Yes, if you go to Stringtopia even just to shop -- you will get to have first pick from one of the primo vendors at Maryland sheep and Wool. Carolina Homespun carries wheels, spindles, fibers, knitting needles... yarn, books... almost anything a fiber heart can desire (really -- you can get anything there! Even chocolate sometimes). So check it out and at least stop by for some fiber hugs and shopping. It will be a fiberlicious weekend. If I can swing it ... I will go!

Studio 66 Retreat  May 6,7,8 (Near Redlands, CA) An absolutely lovely destination in the mountains - fairly low cost - demos, some vendors I think, and lots of fiber community. Fairly low cost. (Southern CA) They still have some openings even though registration technically closed. If you can go -- you will have a fantastic time!

Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival May 7 & 8; West Friendship, Maryland: Well, this is a festival you don't want to miss -- and you want to get there EARLY! Good food, great fiber folk, classes, SHEEP!, and ah yes, the SHOPPING!!! I could pretend to be virtuous and say -- shopping??? but no, I will admit my weakness for fiber related goods.. ;) and if the fiber has color then I am in deep deep deep trouble! Go check out the website for schedules, classes, and other info.

Griffin Dyeworks Retreat June 24-26, 2011. (held in Castaic, CA) I try to never miss this event (and since I'm teaching three classes this year -- I'd better not!) ;) This is an event where costs are kept fairly low, there are lots of classes, mentors, and sharing. We all learn from each other. It is held at a camp and many classes are outdoors (especially the non-stop dyepots!!!) There will be loads of natural dyeing going on, open studio and class specific; Spinning Classes, Weaving classes, Usually a basket class, crochet, the usual 72 hour Spin-In... Felting, in other words --- FIBER ARTS!!! This is fiber community ... and yes, there is shopping... we are well fed and there is a pool (and sprinklers if we want). Pre-Registration is open, Class listings will start to be listed in the next week (and more will be added).   ((Here is the blog entry I did on this retreat in 2009)) 2009 Griffin Dyeworks Blog entry.

There is more out there -- lots more, but this is all I have time for today! Take care all!!!!

Scottish Festival at the Queen Mary

2011-02-23T01:55:00.000-08:00

Yes, a dearth of posts and then a plethora... well, life is busy and then you stay up wayyyy tooo late and put up a few posts. Really, I wish I posted more, because I'm doing more... but I am out doing --- not posting. lol!

So there was a call from the staff of the Scottish Festival at the Queen Mary for spinners to come demo on both Saturday and Sunday of the festival. We got free parking and free entrance. So many folk came and helped out. There were folks from The Greater Los Angeles Spinning Guild, Historical Re-enactors, and Folks associated with Griffin Dyeworks. We were all fiber folk and it was great fun! On Sunday a great Pipe Band from West Minster Came and played for us (we were located on the bottom of the Queen Mary -- which was a good thing since there was a flash rain storm on Saturday and our wheels and spindles would have gotten soaked). Both old and young were fascinated by wheels, spindles, the miracle of WOOL! The concept of having to spin allllll the yarn to create a woven garment... mind shattering... I love that kind of time. It really makes you feel worthwhile in your endeavors to bring about that kind of consciousness raising.

This young man was extrodinarily captivated and so excited! Here he is spinning while I am treadling from the side.

Bridget's plaid was hand woven for her. Her great wheel is a true wheel and dates to the Civil War. It is approximately 150 years old. It spins true and like a dream. It was such an asset to have at the demo and Bridget as always was completely generous with it. I am happy to report that NO ONE pricked their finger on the spindle!

Here are more Saturday Spinners with a multitude of wheels and unseen to the right an entire table of spindles!

I have to thank Bridget since all of these photos came from her camera. As always she is generous with everyone.

Lastly, one other piece of magic at this festival were the older people who came to talk and tell us of their mothers or grandmothers whom they remember spinning or carding or knitting... once again fiber is a common bond.

Home School Co-op -- Fiber Artists everyone!

2011-02-23T01:20:00.000-08:00

Just by chance I told someone that I loved working with kids and I'd be happy to come work with their kids for a few hours. This blossomed into an entire semester of teaching 12 children about the Fiber Arts. They are my fiber artists, every one! Once a week about 80 home school kids get to take classes organized by a home school co-op. It is mixed age groups and 12 of those kids come to me. They are learning to spin. They started with thigh spinning, moved to hook spinning. They made their own spindles and next week they will start using them. We had a camelid day and last week on Valentine's Day we had a fiberlicious Day! 3 stations of activity and they were just enthralled. We did dry felting (needlefelting), wet felting (felting a bar of soap), and a paper weaving activity. I will show some photos here of young happy fiber geeks. More Fiber Better!!!!

In this two dimensional needle felting activity the budding fiber artists used the cookie cutter shape of their choice and any of a multitude of colors to fill the cookie cutter prior to felting it.

I was really lucky because I was missing some supplies (imagine my stash being low ... on anything...lol.. ), but I called on Mielke Farms in WI and they got wool and needles to me right away. Mielke Farms is a great and reliable resource for needle felting supplies and lots of other things as well.

Here some sudsy felting is going on !

More felting and some great color choices.

I didn't get a photo of all the finished felted soaps (I wanted too, but we were stressed for time), however I will note that the kids had great senses of color, proportion, and composition with both the soapy wet felting and with the dry needlefelting.

This next photo is of their first weaving activity. It was a simple paper woven heart basket (being Valentine's day), but the idea was two fold. First, provide a weaving activity, and second utilize two colors and see how they interact in a woven item. Eventually, they will spin yarn, dye it, and weave with it. But that is a few classes down the road!

Right now... I'm looking for a field trip to an alpaca farm, (gotta find one) and for someone with an angora bunny to come visit. Working with these kids, really with any kids and teaching in general is energizing! It makes me happy.

Teaching Times... Griffin Dyeworks Fiber Frolic!

2011-02-23T00:35:00.000-08:00

I've been incredibly lucky and I'm having a blast! So much fiber!!! so little time! I taught some great classes in January. This post is about the day I had at the Griffin Dyeworks Fiber Frolic. In June they will have their annual weekend retreat, which promises to be another fabulous event of fiber community, sharing, teaching, and playing with fiber and string... more fiber better! I've submitted 3 class proposals to teach in June. Lots and lots of fun!!! (did I mention the pool???).

Griffin Dyeworks held its Annual January Fiber Frolic in Monrovia, CA. More people than ever and they changed the site to accomodate the larger numbers. There were some very good spinning classes, several dye classes, some great multimedia art classes, card weaving, nalbinding, and some others... I was teaching all day except for lunch and clean up so I saw some other classes, but it was a drive by smile and moving on. Everyone had a fantastic time. Lunch was provided (which I really appreciated), there was spin-in space for visiting, vendors, a beautiful day outside. This is just a great day and the cost was low to participants. These days it can get hard to access these types of events, because the costs are going up. I have really appreciated how Griffin Dyeworks works to figure out how to keep their events at a fairly low cost.

My classes at the Griffin Dyeworks Fiber Frolic were fabulous and full! In fact my dye class was overflowing... I just could not say no to that hungry look ... 'PLllllleaassseee let me come play!' Everyone was great though. I had extra sample sets put together in case... in case of ??? disaster or more students! Fortunately, it was the latter! lol... So much cochineal was used and delighted upon. I think it must be a human tendency to love color; be seduced by color; be enthralled by color... maybe it is just me... I don't know, but I love it and it calls to me! My friend Theresa was kind enough to take this photo of one of the dyepots (and let me use this on my blog) ... disadvantage to being happily busy... I can't get the photos I'd like to get of my own classes.

The students were great and really pulled together as we formed an extra group divided tasks and Theresa gave me an extra burner and space for another dyepot... that made the numbers very managable. After all the class samples were done... the cochineal dyes were descended upon for personal projects ... it was a fun mad frenzy... of Reds, Magentas, pinks, and some oranges too!!! Everyone had fun and the class was a great success.

My first class of the day (cuz I love to go backwards!) was a class on spinning silk. It was a great group of students and we really enjoyed sitting with our wheels and luxuriating in this incredible fiber. It has so many preparations, so many different facets. It was hard to accomplish all I wanted to in a mere 3 hours. It is an art to be able to select only a portion of the subject. I was talking to Stephenie G. about this very subject and she says you can't give everything. You have to leave more for later. One has to accomplish your goals in class, because often students don't finish half started projects. Fine tuning and selection. It is great advice. I love teaching these classes because it continues to be a learning experience for me.

Teaching is the greatest way to learn! A teacher learns more by preparing for a class than the student will from sitting in the class. I had a friend ask me if I'd taken a workshop on silk so I could teach it and I laughed, because I have been playing with silk (and silkworms) for the past 15 yrs... a long time. I was just helping out in the Kindergarten science unit on silkworms... I was just doing a 'little' research for the kindergarten teachers.... and now I will do most anything with silk and silkworms... well, I won't eat them! Did you know that silkworms make great pets??? they don't live a long time and they are easy to take care of. My kids used to read to the silkworms. They would take them from the boxes (one or two) and put them on the book or their wrist and read to them. It was sweet. Brings back some very old and very fine memories.

A Passing.

2011-02-22T23:59:00.000-08:00

It has been such a busy time since early December. So much has gone on that I have a hard time keeping track of it all. One thing that was significant and very hard was the passing of my dear beloved Aunt for whom I was named. She died quite suddenly with no warning on Christmas Eve. Life and the family will not be the same without her. When my Father died in 2005 the family dynamic radically shifted. Again the family dynamic shifts and changes and we re-adjust. She was a graceful amazing resourceful and beautiful woman inside and out. I think of her every day. Word just cannot express it, but I miss her. At some point when I get my other hard drive back I will post her photo.

Teaching... It's what I do.

2010-12-06T18:06:00.000-08:00

I've been a teacher since I was a little girl. I think I fought against it. And then when I was in my late 20's and announced to the family I was going back to school for my Master's in education, Absolutely NO ONE was surprised... I was surprised, but that didn't count. I think my father sat back and said, 'At last, she has come to her senses!'. He seemed a lot more relaxed at any rate. So I teach all the time, but not necessarily for money and often not in a formal setting. Life is more or less informal until we try to wiggle around it. The opportunities to teach however are caught in life's everyday 'teachable moments'. Catching them is an art even more so when you catch them and teach yourself.

I have been shying away from teaching trying to see if I was someone else or something else and guess what... I'm coming back. I love teaching kids, grown-ups, teenagers (you know the kid-quasi adult person). And I miss teaching. I want to teach more so I am pursuing that goal.

+ January 29th in Southern CA, I will be teaching at the Griffin Dyeworks Fiber Frolic on (kind of a belated Roc Day celebration -- very in-expensive, loads of fun, classes, some vendors, & great fiber people!!!). You can take classes or just take in the atmosphere of Fiber Community and spin, knit, weave all day! I will be teaching two classes (one on Cochineal and the other on Silk). (Registration is now open for the Fiber Frolic).

+ Starting January 24th I will be teaching a 12 session set of classes to a local Home School Co-Op. 'Sheep to Tapestry', starting with making their own spindles and moving on to spinning, dyeing, weaving, mixed with a bit of History, chemistry, and lots fibery goodness.

+ In April I will be teaching a Silk class again for an Historical Re-creation group.

+ At the end of June I plan on teaching at the Griffin Dyeworks Fiber Retreat in Castaic, CA.

That's is all that is scheduled for right now, but I am looking for more teachable moments in the fiber world!

Go Olympiads GO!!!

2010-12-06T17:53:00.001-08:00

I am not a competitive person by nature. I really despise 'contests', but when Ravelry held the Ravelolympics even though I didn't sign up on a team; I had to participate along with myraids of others doing textile type activities around the world together while we watched a common thing and cheered for the blood, sweat, tears, and joys of the Olympics. It is fun being part of something larger than myself. Sooooo I got out a troublesome project that I'd been working on for a year (almost two now, but I have only 6 inches left). The selected project is a cardwoven band using a variation on one of Guntram's patterns based loosely on the theory of the Egyptian diagonal. In February of 2010 here is what I worked on with fellow Ravelry Enthusiasts .

Yes, there are some serious errors and the warp being wool is very sticky. I have six inches left to go. Hoping to finish before the first of the year, because really this is ridiculous. It's just another UFO hanging around NOT getting done and cluttering up my loom (that has new projects WAITING!

And that is one of the things I did in February (that immediately come to mind). ;)

It's been awhile...

2010-12-06T02:35:00.000-08:00

For some fun I will post this photo that I love. Corrupt them while they're young.

Time is a problem... not having enough of it, ever. I always need just one more day even when I'm doing well on time management. The fact that my time is not really my own means that at any time any thing can happen... and often does. And then there is FaceBook... and I have a farm on FB with sheep of my very own (and some llamas, reindeer, and assorted chickens... and a dog) well, a fair number of critters, but please, it was not having sheep of my own that did me in. The area I live in will not allow a sheep or chickens even if I hide them. If they find them on your property it is a $500 per day fine and they aren't messing around. Hence my somewhat obsession with my farm on fb. And I found out that I could communicate with loads of people I care about, but just don't have time to call and ask, 'how are you doing?'. However, you can hang out there for hours and hours wasting precious time. It is addictive and one has to police one's self (and one's children).

Here I am pining away for my blog and all the fibery goodness I can spill out onto its ethery pages. So I am stepping a little bit away from the obsession with FB (I will still take care of my sheep). I need to focus my goals for myself and my own work and figure out some things ... like.. what do I want to do when I grow up or perhaps when my children grow up??? And when will that be? I need to lay some groundwork now. I need energy and I need focus. I am hoping to find both in quantities greater than I have now.

Tomorrow I will post some of what I have been up to this past year... since the year is quickly coming to a year.

What has been on going....

2010-05-19T00:47:00.000-07:00

Many things, many projects, growth, and good things are what I have to report. A good piece of advice was handed to me just recently... try to post once a week. Well, I shall endeavor to do something like that, something approximating that... Wish me luck!!!

I've been up to some interesting projects, interesting for me at any rate, but I did have a great time this past weekend at the Griffin Dyeworks Retreat Near Castaic Ca. I will do a full blown post, but suffice it to say that it is invigorating, energetic (except you come home, shower and sleep! ) ,and it is a time of sharing with like minded and similar souls.

Medieval Image of the Day

2010-02-16T19:58:00.000-08:00

I just love this image. The Virgin painted around 1420 is busy spinning, but she does have help. Angels hold her niddy noddy and her distaff in place. Note also the lovely skein winder with a dyed skein of homespun thread for weaving on it... matching her gown perfectly. I love this for its beauty and I love it for the fabulous depiction of tools. Thinking about our tools I marvel at the fact that things haven't changed very much in all that time. We still value the shape and efficacy of the niddy and love the beautiful woods that craftspeople use to create them.

Sorry to be failing at posting more often. It has been an interesting year and continues to contain surprises and riddles to puzzle out. I will endeavor to be more present here.

A momentous day.

2010-01-20T00:02:00.000-08:00

Today indeed was a momentous day. It was the 18th anniversary of the birth of my first child. 18 years ago right about now I had a new baby and we were probably both asleep. Childbirth does that. My child was a sweet little girl with loads of hair. Her wonderful soft hair was a reddish blonde with little white tips on the ends. She either had sunburnt tips like a little sheep or she had frosted tips like she had been to a beauty parlor. The nurses loved putting little bows in her hair. She was perfect as all newborns are... in every way. Of course she cried when she was bathed. My father there on a visit supposedly 2 wks before she should have been born (according to the Dr. NOT me!) stood outside the nursery door and watched her first bath. He had stood outside the door to the birthing room and heard her first cry as she was born.

I made up my mind from when she was born... no daughter of mine would be wimpy. She would be strong, she would have her own ideas, and no one would push her around because she was a woman. Well, I think I seriously accomplished this goal. By the time she was two years old she knew her own mind. She knew that at a certain point she was past naps. They were sooo 1 yr old and passe... And she just wasn't going to have anything of it. I remember the day. I cherished her naptimes. I loved her naptimes... that time was MOMMY time. I could sleep, read, do paperwork, whatever needed doing best with no child around.. But she was not going to go to sleep. She was sitting on her bed in her room and she said, 'NO!'. And dear readers do not berate me. Motherhood does not come with instructions. Any parent knows we make mistakes we miss opportunities, there might have been something we should have done. And I missed my opportunity. It should have evolved into, quiet in the house time... Play quietly in your room time, but it did not. Instead it evolved into a different flow in the day. Naptime was over as I had heretofore known it.

When she was three she became a big sister and loved her little brother. She would rock his chair and hold him even though he was bigger than her little lap. He would want to do all that his sister did.

When she was five years old she was ready for kindergarten. I however, was not ready to simply hand my little girl over to teachers for half a day without me and I an educated teacher myself knew that only certain teachers would do... yes, I was probably every teacher's nightmare. I called the school in the spring to find out about the school. I interrogated the school secretary for a full 20 minutes before she suggested I meet with the school principal. The day arrived and I took my little 5 year old to the meeting. We went to visit the kindergarten playground. My little one ran to the climbing equipment and climbed all over. Then she looked down at the slide and decided it was too wet so she calmly removed her white sweater, sat on it and slid down. The principal announced HER ready for kindergarten... Mom was not, but my little determined 5 year old most definitely was ready to go!

One day in the spring of her Kindergarten year she read her first book. Fox on Socks. She might have read a word here or there, but 'Fox on Socks' was her first book. She was a Brownie, she sold girl scout cookies. We went camping. She played soccer, she laughed and cried. She had her own mind when it came to picking clothes. A parent picks their battles and quite frankly her ideas of colors and patterns were interesting and creative. She had a rabbit named Peter Benjamin and our old dog. At one point she had a dwarf hamster named 'Mia Hamm', for the soccer star she worshipped.

She raced through each year of school. I remember fighting over math homework in fifth grade and insisting she show her work. They had a great field trip to an old style sailing boat in fifth grade. The kids, the teacher, and some of us lucky parents stayed overnight on the ship, kept watch for a few hours and learned about the life of a sailor. Other elementary school field trips were the pumpkin patch in kindergarten. An ocean boat where they brought up sea life from the bottom and the kids got to examine it. They made clay pigs one year. The PTA sponsored Art Day. She dissected frogs in the gifted program both on the computer and in a lab situation. When she was in sixth grade she and her girl scout troop went to San Francisco and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge to bridge from Juniors to Cadettes. Hundreds of Girl Scouts were there and she loved it.

Somehow in 7th grade she decided she wanted a bearded dragon lizard. She tried asking. We said no. She had to write a persuasive essay in English so she wrote about why she should have a bearded dragon. We said no. However, sheer determination won through... She had to do a power point presentation for a class and she created one on Why she should have a bearded Dragon. We finally said yes. Thus a little baby dragon came to live in her room. Most dragons in history had sad endings so she searched for a strong name and came up with: Hammurabi, the Babylonian King who had written laws. She ran cross country in 7th and 8th grade.

In eighth grade she went to an extra class at school in the spring that a Dad who was an orthopedic surgeon gave for free. She learned to read an xray, an mri, she learned joint anatomy, and was the only girl to watch 3 different surgical procedures in the operating room. Up to that point she had wanted to be a Vet since 4th grade. Now she added Orthopedic surgeon to the list. She graduated in June that year from 8th grade and wore a sweet white dress with tiny white dots. The school had a dress code so I had to sew on ribbons on the straps to meet the 2 inch wide rule. They actually measured the straps. She had short hair and curled it. She went back to her elementary school to visit that day and hugged all her teachers.

She started on the High School Cross Country team in the summer training. She ran all 4 years of High school (including this one not yet done!) and lettered each year. High school has consumed her, but she has consumed it. She has done all that she could do and more and used every second of her day. She played frosh soccer in Freshman year and ran track as well as CC. She played spring soccer on the select team in Freshman and Sophmore year and Ayso soccer in Jr year. She studied voice all 4 yrs. She devoted herself to participating in History Day and went to Nationals twice, State 3 times. She learned to drive (only to have her temporary license run out and have to do it all again) licensing still to come... She has visited colleges, gone to movies, applied to colleges (16 total) and become a small computer wizard. She loves her friends, loves her family, and adores her animals (2 dogs, 2 lizards, and another 2 adopted hamsters ... Anna and Karenina). She is still my little girl and still sits in my lap. She is silly, she is serious. She wants to make the world a better place. She reaches out her hand to me to hold it. She walks arm in arm with me. She has become cognizant of others and tends to hold a lot inside. She has an iron fist that needs more of the velvet glove sometimes. She is driven, she is focused, she reads and is far more informed than I. She carries the constitution in her purse and on her phone. I don't wonder I know... she will give a positive effect to the world. She will leave it a better place. I love her so much and am amazed to have such fabulous daughter, She hugged her brother tonight and I could see how much she has grown up and yet... she is still a little girl and has a ways to go... miles to go before I sleep.

A bit After Medieval... Image of the Day :)

2009-11-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

Jean Francois Millet: Young Sheperdess , 1870-1873. Millet died in 1875. I love his work. He has so many paintings of country life and those who worked outdoors. This is a beautiful painting located at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. I had the recent opportunity to visit while I was doing some work locally.

In this painting the young Sheperdess holds a distaff in one hand and a stick in the other. The distaff is dressed and the fiber is secured with a ribbon wrap. The question is what is she doing with the stick. I have gone back and forth on my own thoughts as to the answer. I have blown up the image to look very closely at the stick to see if the light areas are extension of the fiber or if they are light reflections on her skirt. I have looked at her face to see a distraction upon it. Truthfully, I think she is simply sitting on a hillock staring off into space... seeing something that she is dreaming about. Millet's paintings have the dreamlike about them in the midst of the practical. It is the romantic ideal.

The stick does not appear to be in the fiber or that the fiber is being pulled from the distaff by the stick. The light color near the mid level of the stick (where little stick protrusions appear) are not related to the fiber. There is no fiber being pulled there by the stick. The paint color and texture tell me this. At the tip of the stick there is a question. The texture of the paint and the color are similar to that of the fiber. Has our Sheperdess pulled a bit off the distaff? The other thought is that she is going to use the stick like a hook and perhaps spin off her leg. This is the fiber artist speaking. This is me supposing... But honestly even with these thoughts... I look at her and think about me being out on the hill under a sunny sky and I think she is dreaming and her hands are meandering doing much of nothing but holding everyday objects. It is my 2 cents and the art critics can correct as necessary. ;)

Well this has nothing to do with fiber, but it is visually intriguing. There is a fabulous exhibit of glass near the museum restaurant and bookstore. A million different images fill the mind. This is just a taste to inspire the heart and soul.

Let's remember folks that these are items that belong to the Museum, not to me. I place them here to discuss and to learn. Go visit and see them for yourselves.

It was a Vortex....

2009-11-21T12:04:00.000-08:00

The swirling winding windy vortex of so many things.. caught me and has been sucking me down, sucking me dry, making me cry in my pillow that I have not re-found my fiberish focus to touch fiber daily and find in it some latent will of creative thought.

It is in fact a season of life that helps the thread of fiber to elude my view. Motherhood grasping me and squeezing all that I can possibly give out to the success and growth of my children. And it is therefore a choice as motherhood was my choice in the beginning of this season of my life. Part of it nears the abrupt ripping yet flowing change of stations as one of my children grows to adulthood and her next adventure. I try at this season of fall to find some of the shoots of spring to reach towards.

fiber.... fiber.... and therefore more...

At least my goal is to show and speak of more frequently of the things my mind peruses and where my hand is spinning....

Thanks for your understanding as I come back from the Vortex (still there .. still sucking away)and revive some life here in the ether.

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-06-22T23:53:00.000-07:00

It is not medieval, post medieval perhaps, but I didn't want to mis-lead those that come just to see the pictures. :) Hope you enjoy it. Feel free to leave a comment and click the image to see it larger (It is really worth it!).

Velazquez 1657, This is such a fabulous painting. There is so very much going on! It is all about Arachne. In the background Arachne and Athena are duking it out... Arachne loses in case you are wondering. ;) In the foreground is the spinner and weaver of the thread needed by both Athena and Arachne. I love that the spinner's knee is showing! How many of us have a barefoot or bared knee when spinning? Next to her is a lovely woman winding yarn from a swift into a ball.

Now it could simply be a spectacle put on about Athena and Arachne, but it is all incidental to what is going on. What does the woman by the curtain have to say to the spinner and what does the woman toting the basket say to the ball winding woman? What does the artist want us to know? There is the lesson of arrogance that we learn from Arachne and respect from Athena. There is the toil and labor of the spinster and others that exists and there is the everyday quality that we see in the background of the grandeur of an incredible tapestry and the presence of a Goddess. The normality and rhythm of everyday life and everyday tasks is perhaps what is valuable not the opulence and attention of the apparently grand.

I am quite busy over extending myself. I am sewing and helping co-ordinate a local musical for youth of The Pirates of Penzance. It is totally delightful, happy, energizing, but I am sewing at all hours and days. I must be done by Thursday morning at the latest and preferably by Wens. evening at 5pm. Tonight however I am going to sleep as I was up to 3am last night. Good night all and sweet dreams! May your spinning turn well.

Just lazing about...

2009-06-14T17:35:00.001-07:00

After the long scarf project and the stress of a deadline I put myself on a fiber vacation... yup, simple spinnin' fer me. So I just picked something colorful that someone else had processed, dyed, and put out there for happy hands. I picked a lovely optim skein from Chameleon Colorworks. Great fabulous colors. I think this colorway is 'Figgy Pudding'. I looked at many of her colorways in each fiber and I chose one from each... without checking the name.. who cares about a name after all... it is the fiber color that counts, right... Each one looked different to me. It was so funny... They were the same colorway each time only different in Border Leicester, Merino, and Optim. At least I'm consistent.

Spin optim sometime. It is just like butter and pre-drafted spins like frog's hair. I'm loving it. Just sitting back and spinning. I suppose the yarn will find a purpose. I'm almost half done (further than the photo indicates), then the other half, then plying and who knows... And guess what... I don't have to worry about the time! Whenever is fine. True process,,, thank goodness.

Hope you have a great week. It's June!!! I wonder what my niece is doing today in Greece?

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-06-14T02:12:00.000-07:00

An image from 565 bce. I love this image. Depicted here are Greek women pre-drafting most likely flax to be spun, spinning it on what appears to be a bottom whorl spindle, weaving it on a Warp Weighted Loom, and Women folding the woven cloth. Note that there are two women in each image, but particularly weaving together. Weaving on the Warp Weighted Loom is traditionally thought of as being done with two women in Nordic cultures and is born out in this image as well. (and note the shape of those loom weights - is that a regional/traditional shape?). Now it appears that the women are different women in each image. So what does this mean? Are there many women in the household? Are there many women employed / enslaved in the household? Do different women complete different tasks within a household or by tradition? Did the artist simply enjoy drawing a variety of women?

So instead of drawing too many conclusions, I leave a fair number of questions to be answered. I think that often the archaeologists leave us with to many drawn conclusions leading us to say... but it's document by Dr... that this was a religious spindle for spinning ... who knows? But we need to be able to think of the question and to subsequently ask it. So much of what we think we know has changed or been revised through different eyes reviewing it and asking similar questions.

Philosophy on a spindle... that's me. My niece is in Greece digging up history for us. I think of her everyday. Hope you are all having a great weekend!

The Spin-Off Scarf - International Year of the Natural fibre

2009-06-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

The big adventure for April and May was participating in the Spin-Off Scarf Competition to honor the International Year of the Natural Fiber. It was quite an experience and I had an enormous amount of fun and learned many things. I also made ... A FINISHED OBJECT! Always a nice accomplishment. Sadly, I did not make the cut to the final selection. I heard today via email. I almost never participate in competitions and I am a bit on the sad side of things. A blog is not just about all the successes and the discoveries... it is about the journey, the problems and challenges. I hope that my mistakes help you.

Photos speak a great deal so here are are the highlights of the past two months.

Poking around at the Spin-Off Website there was an announcement that there would be a competition in honor of the International Year of Natural Fibre. (Now It is being called, 'All Wrapped up in Natural Fibers'). The basic rules were that one had to start with raw fiber of some sort and process it through to the end product. Any dyeing would have to be naturally dyed.

Karakul on the Bobbin.
I was so excited by the idea of the process to weave that I grabbed the only fleece in my stash, a karakul fleece. It was a prize winner from the Taos Wool Festival a few years ago. I washed it right away, combed it and spun it up at the same time ordering and waiting on another fleece from Colorado - a Teeswater.

The Karakul fleece was absolutely stunning. The locks were perfect, the color was varied (and I often like a variegated yarn since to me it gives more depth to the yarn). I realized after it was spun up that it wouldn't feel nice on the neck no matter how lovely the locks and how much fun it was to comb and spin... It is after all a rug wool. Sometimes I just want something to be a certain way... I need to respect its nature more.

Karakul Skein.
This is a skein from the Karakul. It is lovely and I am sure it will dye up well too. I will probably use it for something nice, but not clothing.
Then I realized it wouldn't feel nice on the neck no matter how lovely the locks and how much fun it was to comb and spin... It is after all a rug wool.

Black Welsh Mountain Skeins
The skein on top is combed, the skein below is carded. Both spun worsted.

Well, I was playing on Ravelry when I saw a lovely black fleece sample and without really knowing what I was getting I ordered my Welsh Black Mountain sheep fleece. It is an absolutely lovely natural black, but it is much too coarse to wear anywhere near the skin.

Teeswater Skein
I also ordered an incredible Teeswater, which was a joy to spin up. The locks are incredibly long and the luster is very strong.

Curly on the bobbin

I was a little discouraged that the Black Welsh Mountain sheep fleece was so coarse. I had spent a fair amount of time on it and I had limited time at hand. I was lamenting this fact to my wonderful friend, Leslie, and to help out she sent me a large portion of a clip from one of her Pygora goats, Curly. Curly's fleece told me that she loves to play outside a lot, however her fleece came beautifully clean and was lovely all spun up.

Last, I ordered some incredible true black alpaca from Bay Springs Alpaca. It arrived and it was delicious. I washed it up, combed it, spun up a lovely big giant skein. Velvet has a lucious fleece. The black absolutely glows. Sometimes when I was weaving I would simply sit and look at the black; it was so beautiful. It was also soft. I knew that I would love to have it on my neck and that it would keep me warm.

Some things I do not have photos for. As the deadline drew near I worked into the early morning. I put everything aside and I did not get all the photos I usually do. I was seriously running low on time.

I wanted to warp my loom, but Curly's skeins needed to be dyed first. I dyed one skein in onion skins with a mixed in bath of asafran using alum and cream of tarter as the mordant. The second skein I wanted to be red. I started a bath of cochineal. It turned purple because I have very hard water. I soaked my little skein of curly in the dyebath, but to no avail. It would not turn red and it appeared to have difficulty getting the red dye to strike deeply. The gold turned out well. So after some consultation with a friend, I made another dyebath using bottled water and a bit of pre-soaked madder (one has to pre-soak it since the first soak brings out an off yellow that is discarded.). I spent 3 days dyeing that one skein and in the end it is merely an off pink. However it is a respectable color and worked well in the final design.

Alpaca (Velvet) & Pygora (Curly) skeins ready for warping and weaving.

I wish I could say that I had taken pictures of it on the loom, but there again, I was so short on time I could not get it done. But lest one think that the weaving was easy... HA! For something that was plain weave in threading and treadling HA! I made a mistake in my warp calculations and so it was shorter than I wanted, but I had no time to spin more warp. I wanted to do a card woven border, but it looked terrible so I axed it. I wanted to do a sample first, but I had no time so I axed that. I wanted to do a tapestry design in the little squares, but the time it would have taken me would have precluded me from participating in this International Year of the Natural fibers so I decided to adapt my initial design.

To begin with the scarf was inspired by and ancient Peruvian piece from a book I have. Perhaps I will try again and do a better job.

I found that my reed and beater was abraiding my warp too much and so I used my mini-tapestry beater to beat each section into place. Since I alternated tapestry squares in the lattice work it made sense to do this. The tapestry work was incredibly time consuming. It looks nice, but the hours I put in were very intense. Eventually it was done being woven so I did my hem stitching, washed it, set it, and ironed it. Then I put together my entry notebook and sent it into Spin-Off.

The scarf in full view

Here is a full view of the finished scarf. My daughter has decided to adopt it (especially since the dog ate her Christmas mitts in half). She likes it a lot and to me that is a great success story. (Teenager likes scarf Mom makes... film at eleven). The creativity of the many fiber artists participating in this competition is intense and this scarf was not enough to make it even to the final cut, but it was still a worthwhile journey.

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-06-03T14:03:00.000-07:00

In honor of a wonderful weekend with lots of people doing things together I submit this image for your enjoyment and edification.

Mary appears at a type of loom. Some wonder if this is a loom for sprang. One modern maker I've seen uses this type of loom. We see the warp, but no cards. Nothing is on the loom so we really don't know. Note what appears to be a skein winder and another woman sewing. Really and afternoon fiber retreat or an everyday's work. Depends on one's viewpoint. This is clearly a very early image.

Fields of Fiber -- A Sea of Color .... Griffin Dyeworks Fiber Retreat

2009-05-31T20:48:00.000-07:00

Wynken, Blynken and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe,
Sailed on a river of crystal light
Into a sea of dew.

Where are you going
And what do you wish
The old man asked the three...
[excerpt from Wynken, Blynken,and Nod by Eugene Field]

The Griffin Dyeworks Fiber Retreat was at a camp a little north of Castaic in California. Driving there is where I went and what we wished for was fun, fiber, dyes, and the camaraderie of other fiber folk --- all good friends.
Fiber brings out the best in people and this event has a special spirit of relaxed learning. Everyone is good to one and other. People share, everyone has something to offer and teach. It is communal education at its best even with accompanying scheduled classes of every ilk.

Misty Evening

The Yucca plants were in bloom and I stopped after getting off the highway to get some photos. I love yucca plants. They aren't easy to grow (the seeds have to have been in soil during a fire -- part of the natural chaparral habitat -- in order to germinate.. but once they get going they are equally difficult to move. I believe they are protected in California as well.

FELTING
Ruth taught a number of things including a great felting class.

Bridget (not in this picture) taught several card weaving classes. Here are two tablet weavers on Saturday morning. Card weaving (tablet weaving) is like other fiber activities... pervasive, obsessive... delightful!

People let their hair down ...

...And did what made their hearts happy...

Friends got together...

Some people danced...

MUCH spinning was to be had at the 72 hr spin-in...

We never did think to count up the number of different wheels and spindles that surrounded us.
[Group Photo by Melissa]

[Photo by Sherry] Bru teaches on her Antique Great wheel.

Color was pervasive and basic in its presence everywhere. But the world is like that... perhaps we just become aware at intense moments of saturation.

DYEING CENTRAL!
The dye pots were warm, the dyes were intense, we were there to make color!

The thing that started it all was the seduction of color. It wove its way into our brains and Bjo got this idea for a retreat... One thing led to another, but it was the dye pot that brought us here to begin with.

[Photo by Melissa]
This artful photo caught the movement and some of the color of the dyepot artifacts as well as the diversity of vision from the dyepot artists.

[Photo by Melissa]
The indigo pot was THE place to be and everyone had a different idea of what to put in it. The results were tremendously exciting!

Some of us got a bit carried away with the indigo... 'We can even dye your hands to match your eyes'... Blue nails guild motto... (and Dorothy thought emerald green was the way to go...).

[Photo by Sherry]
Indigo and shibori by Bjo -- The wind caught and flew a good many fabrics and yarns. It was part of the grace of land and we embraced it fully.

[Photo by Melissa]
MANY different colors came out of the dyepot this weekend!

TAPESTRY WEAVING
This class, taught by Ellen was on a specific style of tapestry weaving. Ellen a long time weaver and print artist was incredibly organized and shared much of her artistic vision and thoughts with us. She really opened up some areas where I have been stuck. It was like a dam breaking and the water flowing freely.

Here is Ellen's sample that she worked out for our little class project. If one wanted to move in a different direction that was fine too. The techniques are not difficult. If you are interested in seeing more about this process you can go to Ellen's blogsite Weft to my own Devices; tapestry entry.

[Photo by Ellen]
We were all very concentrated at each step. Part of the magic of this technique is the consideration and use of yarns in a color family and the use of yarns of completely different textural qualities to communicate a feeling and idea.

[Photo by Ellen]
Here Dawn shows her amazing progress on her pin tapestry.

EMBROIDERY TAPESTRY
Esther always comes with a class as a larger concept. [Visit Esther at Star Cross Designs] Last year at the retreat she had a full weekend class, 'Come weave on a Warp Wt'd Loom', and then the finished shawl was raffled off on Sunday amongst those who had done the weaving. This year it was an embroidery tapestry a la Bayeaux Tapestry. She collected a variety of medieval illumination images depicting all sorts of fiber activities and had Melinda and Bruce do line drawings. These line drawings were transferred onto linen and the lines are then embroidered... with hand spun and naturally dyed yarns. If you've seen the Bayeaux Tapestry, you will note that it is really an embroidered artwork. People did a wonderful job and everyone did a little bit of something. Of course it isn't finished... it is a work that will travel and continue to be a communal piece of art something like the real Bayeaux Tapestry.

A piece of the long view... the linen with fiber activities - eternal from then to now and onto the future - stretched for about 5 feet.

Our illustrious leader and archetypal goddess of natural dyes, Bjo in her own line drawing, a part of the essential spirit of fiber arts over generations. A woman of the 21st century fits completely with a woman from the 12th century and I'm sure those from a millenium before.

These three women came from illuminations and tapestries working together in their common theme and purpose.

And soon enough the color began to be added...

[Photo by Ellen]
How appropriate ... a dye pot and fiber about to be dipped.

[Photo by Melissa]
Where would we be without sheep shearers???

[Photo by Ianuk]
Everyone tried to do some embroidery or spin and dye some thread.

NEEDLE NETTING
Cynthia taught a class on netting.

Cynthia works on her net near the Lapidary area she set up.

[Photo by Sherry]BASKETRY
Therese teaches Basketry... an ancient and honored art form.

This class was Therese's annual Basketry class. It is always full and the baskets are intensely amazing and beautiful! One erstwhile gentleman worked into the night.. with no light to finish his basket on Saturday. People get excited at the retreat... a bit obsessed, but always lots of fun is had.

[Photo by Ianuk]
On the floor...
[Photo by Ianuk]
... In a Chair... Baskets were made everywhere.

[Photo by Ellen] TIE AND DYE
Here is a little view of the annual Tie Dye with twists and folds class. This is on Sunday 24 hours (or so) after applying the dyes. The magic in this class as in most is that there is no wrong answer. There are only design elements. People got excited as rubber bands and string came off their garments to reveal... COLOR!!! of all sorts.

[Photo by Ellen]
This t-shirt being held up by Cora will be walking (with a person inside it) at the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer Research in October.

[Photo by Ianuk]

[Photo by Ianuk]
Tied and Dyed as far as the fence is long...

[Photo By Sherry]
FELT ON SOAP
There were classes for everyone. This class was felting on soap. (and that felted soap works really well to clean dye off the hands).

[Photo By Sherry]

[Photo by Bru] MUD DYEING
From Clean to Messy... There was a very unusual class in Mud Dyeing using various soils to produce a paintable mud. Interestingly enough the use of mud brought out the earliest paleo in the class participants. Some incredible beautiful things were made. The cloth was pre-soaked in a special natural solution and then the mud was painted on (in a very simplistic instruction... I was late and missed the class). The mud must stay on for two weeks and then it can come off and there should be color and design.

[Photo By Ellen] Ellen did these Paleo Horses. She has explored the paleo part of her psyche through weaving, printing, drawing, and now painting with probably the same materials as so long ago.

[Photo by Ellen] Here are some shirts by the Tan family done using muds as the dyestuff.

It was impossible not to be enthusiastic and come away with a bit of mud somewhere.

[Photo by Ianuk]
This is an experiment Eowyn came up. She dyed her bag with indigo and then painted on that. Hopefully, the mud dyes will come through in two weeks. I'm curious to see.

[Photo by Ianuk]
When we had dyed things all day ... there was a great drumming circle for a bit after dinner.

The difficulty is that there were lots of classes and of course my camera didn't travel enough even with the kind loan of photos from other attendees. There were many other classes including Tablet Weaving, Rams Horn Tablet Weaving Pattern, lapidary grinding, glass lampwork, kumihimo, Tri-loom weaving, Rigid-heddle weaving of early medieval patterns, graduated dyeing, Plying Parade, and others... There were many many classes and students could move easily in an informal way to catch classes. It is an unusual, but highly successful format.

At the end of the weekend we had a show and tell. My camera battery died so I am dependent entirely upon the generosity of fellow retreat attendees and their photos.

SHOW AND TELL
[Photo by Melissa]
Melissa likes to practice the art of not sleeping when at the retreat. She comes with a plan and a purpose. Her sample cards made using only natural dyes will allow her to duplicate and understand what she did to create the colors of individual yarns, wool and cotton. (yep, she saved the cotton tyes on her skeins to put on the sample cards... no moss growing on her...

[Photo by Ianuk]
This was an amazing tied and dyed shibori piece. After folding and tying her cloth, She dyed the yellow portions in either Kamala or dodder (I can't remember). Then she did some careful dipping in the indigo pot. When she was done she equally carefully rinsed et voila... designer tablecloth.

[Photo by Ianuk]
Mud painting, spinning, natural dyeing work. I believe that the spun work is a wolf hybrid blend.

[Photo by Ianuk]
This shows inkle weaving, tri-loom work, rigid heddle historic weaves, and naturally dyed yarns. Indigo is of course a big favorite.

[Photo by Ianuk]
Mud painting and basketry by the Tan Family. They do as much as they can. Visit them at GoshYarnIt.

Bjo did manage to get some work of her own dyed. Shown here are some incredible yellows from the Kamala dye bath and some red (hiding) that was done using brazilwood. The dark brown skein is a skein of lovely soft brown alpaca dyed in indigo. It gave an intense deep brown.

[Photo by Ianuk]
This is Carolyn's work, Tiger's eye lapidary and some lovely felted soap. The lapidary work took some serious patience and care not to sand one's fingers off. Great work Carolyn!

[Photo by Ianuk] THANKS FOR FEEDING US!!!
And lest we forget our absolutely fabulous Cook... she kept us extremely well fed. My personal favorite... apple crisp with icecream. You have no idea.... YUM!!! (and thanks for your hard work!).

FOR EVEN MORE RETREAT FUN ... AND UNTIL NEXT YEAR...
You can see more photos and read further tales of the Dye Retreat at some of these links: Weft To My Own Devices, Lissamc, Tender Loving Work, Ianuk's Photos, Syrendell (The Tan family), Eowyn's Artifacts, Carol's Retreat Slideshow, Laurie's Photos, Catherine's Photos, Griffin Dye Works Retreat (scroll down to past retreats for links to photos). For Griffin Dye Works on Ravelry Click link. NOTE: To see a photo larger - simply click on the photo.

SIT AND SPIN!!!

2009-05-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

I'm off to the Griffin Dyeworks Retreat... while I'm gone

S I T & S P I N

Hippo Birdie two Ewes...

2009-05-28T01:30:00.000-07:00

Hippo Birdie two Ewes... Well,Happy Birthday to me at any rate... I'm not yet at the half century mark, but I'm seriously working on it.... And by the by there was cake at hand tonight and such cake it was that I must share it with you. (I also have lovely flowers, I will photograph and post tomorrow). ;)

Yes, this is the cake... chocolate with rasberry filling and chocolate ganache, as well as a butter cream rose and buttercream dots.

Here you go, have a piece and wish for more Happy Birthdays (and many good things, fibery among them).

Until next time... happy fibery days... ;)

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-05-26T02:53:00.000-07:00

Here we have a Queen and one of her best friends weaving together... I wonder what they are saying to one and other.... Have you seen the new Star Trek Movie? nope, I will weave until lunch and then I'm meeting a knight at the Willow tree in the garden. I'm going to read poetry to him. He's going to learn to spin... Uh huh, well, what do you think???

When I get old , I want to be like this... :)

2009-05-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

I am frantically trying to finish work on THE SCARF... Details will ensue, but for your viewing pleasure this from YouTube. We we all are old, life should be like this. :)

Fran & Marlo Cowan (married 62 years) playing impromptu recital together in the atrium of the Mayo Clinic. He'll be 90 in February.

Drawer Pull Drop Spindle -- By Abby Franquemont

2009-05-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

If you are not aware of Abby Franquemont, you should be. She is an amazing and accomplished fiber artist. She was raised by two fabulous anthropologists in the highlands of Peru. The Grandmothers of the village made sure she would be a useful person and taught her to spin at age 5. To know more go to my blogroll and click on Abby's Yarns. She is one of those people who is inextricably bound to fiber and fiber to her. She will soon have a book published, which is all the better for the rest of us, who cannot sit in her kitchen and experience her wry humor and learn from her vast experience of the world and fiber.

Sheep, Goats, ALPACA

2009-05-15T13:47:00.000-07:00

Well, through a little comedy of errors involving the postal service... ;) ... and my neighbors... I have some lovely true black alpaca in my hot little hands. From Bay Springs Alpacas I have a pound of fleece. Bay Springs Alpacas are lovely people with great little Alpacas. They are able to break up their blankets (alpaca fleece) into smaller quantities for handspinners, they also sell top, yarn, and other fun things. So I have 8 oz of Florence, and 8 oz of Velvet, both stunningly black soft critters. If I can, I will update with their individual pictures, but meanwhile here is their fleece arriving and getting washed up ready to comb. ;)

The first photos are from Florence's fleece. She was the first out of the box so she got washed first. Alpacas aside from being yes, different from sheep (hey, no rolling your eyes), have no lanolin so their fleece is not greasy. This means less dirt. Never fear there is still dirt. It is tempting to just take those lovely locks and just spin them, but the dirt will spin into the yarn and some of it would not come out with washing of the yarn. Some dirt will cause the fleece to cling more and clump up. It is just better for the fleece to wash it first before processing. Cleaner tools, cleaner spinner, gritless yarn, and if you don't get it all spun up... you will not have dirty fleece with which to attract the evil four letter word M**H. If you don't get this for whatever reason... we don't say the word in order to not tempt our luck. The M**h is a flying pest, whose larvae eat wools. BLECH! Every handspinner's nightmare. In any case Florence had a bath.

Here is Florence being laid out before separating for washing. The tips are red due to amniotic fluid. When she is washed and combed those don't show at all.

Here is an unwashed lock from Florence's fleece. I always take an unwashed lock sample, a washed lock and later a spun sample. Ideally, they should go in a book... lately I've been rushing through stuff to get to my deadline.... Whooshhhhhh...

Even the cleanest Alpaca fleeces have dirt. ;)

Here is Florence, luxuriating in the warm sunshine and drying so she can be combed. Isn't the black impressive? And she is soft too... Admit it... you would love some alpaca...

Then Velvet had a bath. If you compare the photos of their individual locks you will see a difference. Same Breed,alpaca, different genetic line. Both are lovely, I just want to point out that there are differences to observe. I was sort of rushing through things so I didn't get as many photos as I usually due, my apologies.

Here are two locks from different parts of the blanket.

Here is one of the locks a bit closer. Notice the lovely crimp.

So tonight is comb Florence and Velvet, and then spin Florence and Velvet. Hopefully, I will do dyeing of Curly tomorrow and finish spinning, wash yarns, dry yarns, and then Sunday... I have to be warping and starting to weave. Heavy Sigh.. think good thoughts for my little self imposed marathon. ;)

Frantically working and doing everything else

2009-05-15T12:43:00.000-07:00

Two kids and you know that you have loads to do besides the uh, fiber things you love. (I love the kids too, but the cooking and laundry sometimes get me down). However, the deadline looms in one short week (and it really is short since the deadline is Wednesday and today is Friday). So here is some work I've done and haven't posted yet.

I have been diligently combing out Curly's fleece and spinning it up. Last night I got the two bobbins plied. I think I plied and plied and plied for what felt like forever. I won't have pix of the yarn until next week since I loaned my daughter my camera to take to her cousin's college Graduation. (only sending two of the four of us).

Here is Curly fleece prior to combing a bit plucked out.

Here is Curly on the bobbin becoming yarn. Really a lovely fleece to spin up.

I will post something else a bit later.

Purely for absolute FUN!!!

2009-05-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

Would you join in the dance??? ;)

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-05-11T23:57:00.001-07:00

One might never have known, but these women were early SOAR attendees... in this image the two women are discussing how one should dress the distaff... with or without a ribbon... Most people know this image to be a detail from Pieter Bruegal The Younger, 'Proverbs', 1638. If you get a chance to examine this painting in detail please notice that the man just below the two women is engaged in sheep shearing. This is not visible in this detail, but it is if you scrutinize the entire painting then it can be seen.

SOAR Registration and other activities

2009-05-11T23:42:00.000-07:00

Yes, it was time again for to sign up for the Spin-Off Autumn Retreat this past week (among many other things)... If you are interested go here: SOAR Registration & Information.

Sign up this year was first come first serve, which I think is a good thing. A few benefits... Fewer hard feelings, Spin-off gets its funds earlier, and everyone knows what classes they will be taking much earlier (less stress).

I am going to try my hand at a dye workshop... Crazy Dyes to be exact. I love color it is absolutely mesmerizing.

This week I had the absolute pleasure to do a workshop for an elementary school. 30 3rd - 6th graders came. We did natural dyeing and kool aide dyeing using a variety of shibori techniques on two different scarves (one silk, one cotton).

They were completely well behaved, engaged, and wonderful to work with. The silk scarves they gave to their mothers for Mother's Day and they kept the cotton bandana.

I did not get photos since I was up to my elbows in cochineal, lol. I hope the teacher sends me a few. I was thrilled too, because they had the money to pay me for my work. Money is always good, although I have given almost all my workshops for free since I truly feel that these kids need experiences of these kinds in their lives.

The work of Piaget seems to have been forgotten in favor of a world of paper tests and legislated learning standards. Hopefully, we will come back from this extreme to a more middle way encompassing more than a tunnel vision of what education comprises.

I can link to almost any curriculum a textiles link. Textiles have been part of the human connection for thousands of years. It is not hard to link it to learning.

A little soap box never hurt anyone... ;)

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-05-04T01:15:00.001-07:00

I've been traveling this wk and I'm just back. I have a workshop I'm teaching to prepare for on Wens so I am very busy and don't know if I will be able to post until later this week. Therefore... we have a lovely image for you to contemplate... :)

Here she is, from 1660. All by herself... spinning... lovely... cute dog to keep her company, nice warm outfit, black (a very expensive color to dye in those days)... Nice distaff too.

Meet Curly... watch her bath...

2009-04-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

Greetings All,

I have had many a sundry adventure with the Black Welsh Mountain, but I did do the carded sample of Black Welsh Mountain so I started to spin the Teeswater, but before I get there... because I will do a skein evaluation up to this point.... May I please introduce.... Curly, the Pygora Goat... One of the Resident kids of my friend, Leslie.

Curly is the curious guy with her head coming through the fence (pix by Leslie)

Leslie sent me part of Curly's spring clip to cheer me up, because I was feeling down over the Black Welsh Mountain results (not bad, just not what I needed). So Curly's Clip caught the first plane south and arrived on Friday. It was not until today that I had time to bathe the little girl.

Here is a little information on the origins of the Pygora goat from the Pygora Breeder's Association

"The idea of cross-breeding the Pygmy and Angora began on the Navajo Reservation in Arizona. There, Katharine Jorgensen, an Oregon school teacher and experienced fiber craftsperson, saw colored Angora goats. She reports in a 1986 magazine article, “I thought: ‘wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a goat that produced mohair the color of the blue-grey grizzle Pygmy goats?’ I wanted to try and create a mohair-type goat and the traits that were best from both breeds” (Precious Fibers Magazine, Jan., 1986, p. 14-15). By the early 1980s, five years of line breeding an Angora doe to an unrelated Pygora buck finally resulted in the beautiful grey-grizzled goat Katharine dreamed of. The potential for champagne and honey browns was also present because of the Pygmy’s color genetics. By 1986, fleeces were often 5 inches long, had nice crimp and appeared in pure white, silver and grey. Today, Pygora colors reflect the full range of the Pygmy Color Registry and diverse fiber types contain many varied characteristics." -- end quote

Here is Curly about to have her little locks shorn. I personally think Leslie is a very brave person. She bought mega-expensive shears and with very little training sheared all her little crew by herself. She waited for another mutual friend,Charlene, to come visit and hold their heads so she could finish the necks.

Here we have Curly in the background and her sibling Larry in the foreground (what do you suppose the third one is named?).

Onwards to bath time. :)

First of all I spread little Curly's fleece out on the table to look at it.

Here is a close up of the fleece laid out.

This is a lovely lock I found prior to starting to scour Curly's fleece. It is really lovely and there are more of them. I am not a pygora fleece grader, but there is the silky guardhair, the long lock, the mohair like look... I think we have a grade A fleece type. But I have no experience here and I am only going by what I have read on the internet. Most of the locks are shorter, but I don't have the entire clip so I can't say definitively one way or the other, but Curly is a great little Goat so I'm giving her an 'A'.

This link goes to an interesting page that helps provide understanding of the various grades of Pygora fleece, Pygora Fiber Types, Pygora Breeder's Assoc. .

Now a good pair of shears will cost you... a bundle of money... and I know a beginning shearer interested in fleece quality might pay a $350 plus for a decent pair of shears.

Shearing is not for the faint of heart and definitely for the steady of hand. It is important to shear animals so they don't overheat, get sick, become trapped in a felted fleece. For the most part fleece animals have had the natural ability to roo (shed) bred out of them. A responsible shepherd will shear or have her flocks shorn. Each fleecy critter is different. Pygoras need to be shorn twice a year. This is Curly's spring clip. Almost every fleece will have a second cut in it. Some will have more and they should be discarded as they are not useful (however, I'm saving mine to try and do something creative... lol, tbd). With all due deference to my fabulous friend Leslie, I searched for a second cut so I could show people what it looks like. Here it is (and no criticizing the shearer, who is doing it herself, by herself with minimal training... a certain amount of on the job training is required of the shearer. I Hope I get to try shearing one day. :)

This is the second cut. The shears cut a into the fleece a bit and not close enough to the skin of the animal. The shearer went back and cut the fleece closer to the skin. This produced a 'second cut', the part between the skin and the fleece proper. Throw them away when you see them. Some will come out with picking, some with washing, and processing. Don't spin them. Throw them away.

Time to get the bath water ready. The key to good washing technique is basically two things. 1. consistent HOT water 2. NO Agitation

Some people like to use washing machines, I don't. I am not good enough, I don't have the right washer, and I'm a hands-on kind of person. I also just can't stand the risk of ruining a fleece on which I am either emotionally attached (like Curly) or that I have invested money in the purchase. I'd love to use my bathtub... think of the time saving! However, I have a very fastidious daughter and she objects to 'fleece' touching the bathtub so I use my sink. There are lots of people that do this especially fiber folk living in apartments, small houses, or those of us with no studios. Sinks are a wonderful invention.

First I clean it so there is no kitchen grease or food particles that can contaminate my fleece. Next I get my tools and utensils ready for use. Rubber gloves to keep my skin from being scalded, an apron to keep me from smelling too much like fleece, a colandar, tongs, my tea kettle, my soap, old towels, my drying area ready.

In this picture I have partially filled the sink with very very hot water from the tap and I am adding boiling water to bring up the temperature. I must have rubber gloves or I will scald my hand. REALLY HOT water is key to cleaning your fleece. Actually boiling fleece will yield felt so don't do that. Adding boiling water to a slightly cooler bath is a good idea. It should be so hot you can't put your naked hand in it. Use rubber gloves.

I add the soap to the wash after I add all the water, because I don't want suds. I swirl the water to mix the soap. I use 'Joy'. 'Dawn' is great too or 'Orvis'. Be careful not to use soap that is blue or green as this can actually dye your fiber in an odd cast.

At long last I put in some of Curly's locks to scour. I will gently press them under the water and leave them alone. Trust to the process! Do not move them in any way. The Soapy Water will do its work. I promise!

One bath will not be enough for any fleece. This is bath water number one. Absolutely and completely blech! Hot water, soap, and NO agitation.

If you are using your sink and draining water down the drain... make sure and put a strainer in. You will save yourself a HUGE plumbing bill later. And do you really want to explain why there is sheep wool in your drain to the plumber?

As you move on and are washing an entire fleece you will develop a rhythmn to your washing and you will develop a way to economize on your water usage.
It depends on the fleece and the state of the water in the bath after usage, but I generally follow a rhythm like this:

wash 1 discard
wash 2 discard
wash 3 (can be used for the batch 2 for wash 1) then discard
rinse 1 (can be used for batch 2 wash 2) then discard
rinse 2 (can be used for batch 2 wash 3) then discard

Rinses are always fresh water, but are re-used for washing.

This is a system that works for me. I can even work in a third batch by rotating out batches to a waiting bowl to wait for an appropriate turn in the bath.

By Rotating baths and batches of fleece you can economize on water usage and move the fleece through scouring in a more time efficient manner.

Here is Curly's fleece after one bath. Time for Bath 2.

This is the water after Bath 2. A huge difference from bath 1.

Here is Curly's fleece after 3 baths and 2 rinses.

Note that I am using a colander for my fleece. This is another very controlled method of putting fleece in and out of the bath water. Using a colander is very useful to help preserve lock structure.

Using a colander you can place specific locks in order and use the colander in and out of baths. It minimizes rubber glove contact with hot water. The best thing in place of the colander is to use the sifting cat boxes to wash fleece. Everything is flat and you move tray by tray into and out of the baths. I don't have those and I'm a little short of cash right now. However, here is a link if you'd like to purchase a set: Sifting Litter Pan .

Well, time to put Curly's first batch of locks out to dry. For comparison I put a few unwashed locks next to the drying ones. BIG difference! Someone recently said they liked to spin in the grease... I just think that spinning clean Curly beats the heck out of spinning the dirty version.

Curly first batch of fleece is dry and ready to take over and prepare for spinning. That will be another post. ;)

Have a good day all. This one was a marathon post!

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-04-23T00:07:00.000-07:00

(Note: click image to enlarge)

One doesn't always need a reason for an image and so I thought I post another image from the Luttrell Psalter. I am looking at the woman feeding chickens and holding her distaff and spindle (lower image), Here is a typical woman of any age... multi-tasking...

Need I say more?

Have You Hugged a Sheep Today? ...Processing the Black Welsh Mountain Fleece

2009-04-21T12:09:00.000-07:00

((Just for a cuteness Break -- go see Fiber Farm Lamb Cam Watch them all day long. Some have even given birth on camera))

Black Ram: From Sheep 101 and to them from EAAP-Animal Genetic Bank (Wow, He is amazing looking)

note: this is a long post as I have tried to put everything I can into it.

Photo From Sheep 101 and to them from American Black Welsh Mountain Sheep Association and Joannie Livermore

(PHOTO NOTE: I am liberally referring to and borrowing these pictures in an effort to provide some background and education for individuals reading this. I hope that people go to Sheep 101 and use it to do their own research. Another GREAT resource on sheep breeds is Breeds of Livestock, Oklahoma State University

I'm trying to catch up with where I am and keeping my blog journal for whatever benefit it may have. Here is the processing of my Black Welsh Mountain sheep fleece. It is important when working with the fleece of an animal to understand said animal. So in a quick reference kind of methodology here is some information on the Stately Black Welsh Mountain Sheep.

A Bit on the Black Welsh Mountain Sheep from Sheep 101:

"In the Middle Ages, the mutton of black-fleeced Welsh Mountain Sheep was prized for its richness and excellence and much sought-after by merchants. During the mid-19th century, some breeders began to select specifically for the black fleece color and the result is the Black Welsh Mountain sheep. The Black Welsh Mountain is a small, black sheep with no wool on the face or on the legs below the knee and hock. It is the only completely black breed of sheep found in the United Kingdom. Introduced into the U.S. in 1972, the fleece from the Black Welsh Mountain has generated special interest among hand spinners and weavers.

Category: primitive, medium wool
Distribution: United Kingdom, North America"
-- End Quote --

This Quote is from Breeds of Livestock, Oklahoma State University

"In the Middle Ages, the mutton of black-fleeced Welsh Mountain Sheep was prized for its richness and excellence. The black wool, known as Cochddu (reddish brown) was much sought-after by merchants. During the mid-19th century some breeders began to select specifically for the black fleece color and the result is the Black Welsh Mountain sheep. Flocks of the pure breed are now widely distributed throughout the United Kingdom, with flocks also in Ireland and the USA.

Description:

The Black Welsh Mountain is a small, black sheep with no wool on the face or on the legs below the knee and hock. The rams are typically horned and the females are polled (hornless).

Although it is bred today perhaps as much for decorative value as for its commercial importance, it nevertheless grows wool which is sufficiently fine, soft and densely stapled to be regarded as a specialty type and the fleece is used to good effect in combination with other wools. Always black, it can be used undyed for many cloths. The average fleece weight is 2.5 - 4 pounds. The staple length is 8-10 cm and the spinning count is 48's-56's. Sources indicate there is also a market for the pelts. In the USA, Canada and Japan the fleece has generated special interest for home spinning and weaving. The wool now commands its own grade by the Wool Marketing"
--end quote--

Some other interesting links:
Desert Weyr Former home of my fleece and operated by Oogie McGuire and her husband. They do a lot more than sheep (although I don't see how they have the time!) lol... Go visit - it's a fun place.

American Black Welsh Mountain Sheep Association If you go visit this site you will have a great treat. There is lots to see and read. If you go to the newsletters you will see that Oogie has been over to Britian/Wales to learn about their judging process and to better understand the Welsh Conformation from whence comes the American Black Welsh Mtn Sheep. As I understand it they bring over semen to inseminate into the ewes in the the U.S. This brings the breed together despite the puddle in between (being the Atlantic Ocean) and prevents the breed from diverging into two seperate breeds of the same breed in each country. If you want more genetics you will have to talk to them. Because we must move on to the fleece.

... And now onto the processing portion of our program... lol...

This photo is of the top of the fleece (the side that faces out to the world from the sheep). Please note that the sun is very strong and so the fleece does not really show how very black it is until subsequent (less sunny) photos. It is indeed a deep deep black.

An Important thing to do when processing a fleece is to open it up onto a big table (those rolled fleeces are bigger than they look). If you are doing it inside, beware the sheepy smell, put a big sheet on the floor and have some really good lighting. It is in full spring here so I did it out in my backyard.

What you are going to do is look at the fleece and make sure you are happy with it. This is an opportunity to check the skirting, which if you are buying from a farmer who sells to handspinners should already be beautifully skirted especially if you are paying a premium.

Check for bugs, check for scurf (look it up online with images -- essentially it is MORE than dandruff and has bits of dead skin -- better to see the image). Here is an excellent link to a very knowledgeable Fiber Artist, who has many excellent posts with excellent advice and also this posting regarding Scurf. Go read it. The Independent Stitch Scurf and dandruff can be impossible to process out when preparing your fleece for spinning. But worse still it is a sign that your fleece may be more brittle, the fibers damaged. Check this carefully. Sometimes you will find a fleece where you can skirt the problem areas out and other times you may have to either return or pitch the fleece.

Look for the quality of shearing. Second cuts throughout a fleece means you have less than a premium fleece on your hands. Remember that sheep live outside. They roll around, they don't bathe. Sometimes they are coated (real coats) by the farmer and this saves immensely on the skirting and the cleaning during processing, but sometimes not. Some fleeces clean more easily than others regardless. Each fleece will be a new experience. And don't take a good fleece for granted. Sometimes the chance to work with a rare breed's fleece is an opportunity and a little extra vm or some other problems are worth dealing with for the experience. I support the efforts of many to help maintain the survival of rare and endangered breeds.

If you are unhappy then contact the farmer who sold it to you and talk it over with them. Many good farmers have a guarantee on their fleeces that if there is a problem they will take the fleece back.

However, I have had the good luck to buy from some very fine Shepherds and the fleeces I have processed thus far have all been vastly different (being from different sheep)and are admirable fleeces of their breed. Remember however that even the best ranches or farms might have a fleece come by with some spinner's issues. Be open to working things out with the fleece or the farmer/rancher/Shepherd. :)

I turned the fleece over to see the back (the cut side -- the side closest to where the sheep used to be).

If there were second cuts this is where you would look for them. A second cut is where the shearer starts cutting to high into the fleece and goes back to cut closer to the sheep. This leaves a cut btw the sheep and the rest of the fleece. When the
fleece comes off this 'second cut' stays and lowers the value and the usability of the fleece. It renders the staple shorter and sometimes completely unusable depending on how bad the second cut is. I don't recommend buying fleeces like this, but if you do get one call the farmer and discuss it. There often will be a few second cuts, but having them consistently throughout a fleece is a problem.

However, this fleece is totally clear of those problems. And I love looking across the sea of fleece.

These two photos are of the individual locks prior to washing. I just plucked them out of the fleece to photograph them. Note that they are not washed and so they do have some dirt in them. Not a problem, that's why God invented soap.

Now the next thing I do is I wash the fleece. I do not have big giant tubs and in deference to my daughter, who won't bathe in a bathtub, however clean, where a fleece might have been.... I use my sink. I do not use my washer. I don't want any surprises after I have paid good money for my fleece. I have double sinks in my kitchen and I use those. I will devote another post to the fine art of washing fleece.

Every fleece as in every animal is different. For this Fleece I found that three washes and two rinses did the trick. Then I laid it out for drying. :)

I have very unusual drying racks and we have an exceptional solar powered dryer... the sun. It works well and fairly quickly, although I do turn the fleece so both sides dry faster.

When it is all dry I bring it inside and organize it as well as I can into locks for easier processing. If I see any obvious vm (vegetable matter) I will pluck out larger chunks. More will come out in processing. I work with a cloth over my lap (you can stand at a table and do this, I just like to sit). I put all this into a basket if I am going to get to it in the evening or into a box I can cover up if it will be a bit before I get to it.

I have elected to comb the fleece as I want a finer yarn for weaving. This fleece is perfect for carding and I may well explore that later, but first I will comb it and see if it works for spinning.

Here is a little bit of combed top. There is much crimp to this fleece. I find that there is a soft bit to the fleece that when combed comes out in a lovely way for a medium type fleece. Unfortunately, this doesn't translate visually. You have to feel it. Tactile amusement.

At long last we come to the spinning... and this is just the beginning. I find it to have good luster and a fair hand. It is a shorter staple (about 2 inches), but still combs out. However combing does separate the small soft underfleece (this is not a doublecoated breed). When I combed it out the initial top spun up well, but the back end was much coarser having been separated in combing and was more problematic to spin up. In the end I discarded more than I wanted too. However, that means that perhaps combing is not the best for this fleece. As I said in the beginning I wanted a worsted spun yarn and combing it seemed the right process for that purpose.
I will card some and spin a sample up. I am about ready to ply the first bobbins of combed yarn and skein it up. I'll have a skein post with the plyed karakul as well.

Every fleece has its purpose. This one is a medium grade fiber and is definitely for an outer garment. I have heard that fabric made (knit or woven) with this fleece type does not pill (a happy thought indeed). The trueness of the black is possibly unparalleled. I love the color. I'd recommend this for tapestry as well. I will post later with the first skein.

A long post, but lots of information.

Could I possibly learn to count?....

2009-04-19T19:25:00.000-07:00

So Sunday is a day of rest ... right... absolutely, no laundry, no vacumning... no 'Work'. Right, I played all day. I scoured/washed fleece all afternoon. (and Yesterday afternoon (although, yesterday it was intermixed with cleaning the patio)).

So I posted earlier today.. 2 down and 2 to go... Hard that since I have '5' fleeces.. Yes folks, the hot water has scalded my little brain. I cannot count. However, I am pleased to report that I have scoured 3 fleeces and have 2 left! Light at the end of the tunnel (the tunnel of washing that is).

The thing is that I am tightly focused on a goal and the deadline is May 20th... well the entry in the hands ON May 20th so If I look at my calendar that means I have to mail it Sat May 16 or express mail it on Monday, May 18th. So that means I'll be express mailing it... I will not even toy with you to think that I would even think myself capable of not sending it in at the last possible minute!

So another discovery is that if one works with fleece all day, one can come out smelling like a sheep. It was very warm today. Really, I'm out in Southern CA and it was in the low 80's today. (please don't throw tomatoes, I'm sorry it isn't that warm where you are right now). So working hard carrying around various stages of clean and dirty fleece ... the fleece and I started to smell the same, except that sadly I smelled more like it than it smelled like me. Nope I could not start dinner without showering first. My son even told me I smelled like a sheep (in the nicest possible way). Poor guy. He really didn't mean anything by it, but by the end of the fleece scouring I had to agree. I also thought that tonight I didn't need to get into my bed smelling like this. So no harm done, I was forced to take a nice hot shower. Yea!

My fleecy accomplishments are 1 karakul -- 1 black welsh mountain sheep -- 1 teeswater. All three washed. I think one develops a rhythm to all of it and so the more you do, the faster it goes. Even with all this washed I have this inner fear peeking out every now and again saying... do you really have enough time for this? I mean a scarf?, but said scarf must be fleece to scarf. I suppose I could design it using natural color, but no.... noooooooo... I must make it as complicated as possible. That's right, I will be naturally dyeing certain portions of the yarn (when it becomes MORE yarn). All natural this scarf -- it's in da rules -- It is after all the International Year of the Natural Fiber.

Yup, and then I get to warp and weave...and I didn't say one other little thing... I am actually planning a 2nd scarf, because one should really have TWO entries or even THREE... I'm a little nuts on this, Well, we'll see. I have actually gotten the design work done on 3 separate scarves. They lend themselves to so much, because they are limited canvases. I will post the designs with the scarves,,, I don't want to jinx myself. Meanwhile, you can see ALLLLLLLL the processing. I will post fleece pictures and their washing on another post. I hope to be spinning tonight. Wash during the day and use the sun as a dryer, spin at night - watch a move... oh, I forgot I have a significant amount of combing to do too!

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-04-19T13:48:00.001-07:00

So What have I been doing... scalding my hands in hot water and WASHING fleece... 2 down and 2 to go. (both dry)

In honor of this accomplishment and in honor of those fabulous shearers who separate the fleece from the sheep (an art form I assure you!) I post this image from the 'Brevarium Grimani'.

This Brevary was commissioned by Pope Sixtus IV, who ruled btw 1471-1484. Sadly for him he died before it was finished. It is to our benefit that it has survived. Eventually around the tiem of its completion it came into the hands of Domenico Grimani. His family presented it to the library (in Venice)Biblioteca Marciana, Venice (St. Mark’s Library - where it is still housed), Venice in 1546. Artists who are cited as its creators are Memime Antonio da Messina, Horebout, Levien van Antwerp. The entire Brevary is 1580 pages long. Note that these are flemish artists and critiques written cite this as a flemish work. (I'm not judging... just reporting).

Becoming Yarn

2009-04-16T23:24:00.001-07:00

Here it is ... first two bobbins combed and spun (but not plied)(yet). Sooooo what does anyone think? Let me preface this by saying that I knew that the Karakul was a hairy fleece. I knew that it has been used for carpets. And yet,,, I kept petting those locks and said, but but but... It was also the only fleece I had at the time. Now these ancient breeds were often double coated and karakuls certainly are one of this category. So I elected to spin the soft undercoat and the hairy over coat together to try and get a softer yarn.

While it is softer... I am not sure it is soft enough for a scarf. So I have about 2/3's of the fleece left pick, comb, and spin. I am thinking of separating the two coats and spinning the soft undercoat for the rest of the yarn. I'll decide this tomorrow after I ply the bobbins and wash & set a sample of the yarn.

And this leads to an important point. It is all to the good to make what one has work. And it is even better to have 3 or 4 fleeces show up to have a backup plan. It is incredibly important to take the time to make samples. I sincerely hope that I have enough time to wash and spin enough of the other fleeces to sample and then I hope I have time to actually you know, weave.... (for which I will sample as well)(already started on that by using a commercial yarn to test a pattern) (Yeah well, it is on the warping board, but what with school, homework, children, meal time and laundry... (and did I mention dogs?) We shall see what will come.

And even if I don't make my deadline for the Spin-Off Scarf competition in honor of the International Year of the Natural Fiber (not making it up... go google it- United Nations)... it will be the process of doing, the experience, the learning, and I will know I did my part to support the natural fiber farmers and their fabulous sheep. (did I ever mention I am partial to sheep?). And of course any finished object is a good object. ;)

Luttrell Psalter Site

2009-04-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

I should have looked this up a bit more before posting just now. (sorry) You can go to the following site ... hopefully the html link will work or you will have to cut and paste. I have not been successful getting the links to work. We'll see this time.

You can also order a DVD of the project -- just be sure and order the correct version (pal or ntsc) for you part of the world! (been there done that)...

Luttrellpsalter.org.uk

There is also a re-created picture of the spinning woman on the site.

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-04-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

We interrupt for a little visual distraction. ;)

One of my all time favorite images from the Luttrell Psalter,an illuminated manuscript written and illustrated circa 1325 – 1335 c.e. When you look at a facsimile of this image, one can see a spinning stick in her hand. She uses the spinning stick to turn the wheel. This would keep the wheel clean and free of grease for the hand.

Above is a close up of the spinner in the picture. If you look closely at the hand spinning the wheel, you will see the stick she uses to turn it.

This is a project to re-create the Luttrell Psalter in a living history fashion. There are some other videos. I had heard they would market the entire project, but have not seen or researched the outcome. This seen is two women going to the sheep byre. A few sheperds, milking of the sheep (Lincoln Longwool)and of course SHEEP! Watch until the end when the sheep get to leave the byre and frolic about. (LOVE the fleece!).

Look what Leslie found when she got home...

2009-04-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

My fabulous friend Leslie has a little farm. She has really beautiful chickens and 3 pygora goats and then she brought home Rorie, who was expecting. She came home yesterday to Rorie in labor. First she brought forth this little guy.

And then Mom had another (cause two are better than one... right). At any rate I haven't heard what their names might be, but Mom and babies are doing well. Leslie seems to be doing great too. ;)

I love spring and the time when lambs are born and baby kids. I love the plants bending a stem to push through the earth and the amazing colors of green that exist even in the desert.

AND my other friend Pat, has a mare that had this little guy, Bentley.

Bentley is trying to convince his Mom that his hooves do NOT have to touch the ground and he can too fly!

The hard thing about all of this is that almost all of my friends live you know... hours or days or even a week's drive away. Can I go have coffee with Leslie and pet the babies? Sigh... I must work at this.

However, that said... Happy Spring!

Totally Jazzed - Completely excited!!!

2009-04-13T19:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been ploughing through the karakul and I love its locks, but I've been impatient because the bag just seemed somewhat endless.

I am now DONE with washing the Karakul. The last bit is drying and I've started spinning up the combed top I've been working on from previously washed (last week)locks.

And when it has dried, I've been combing it out. I will post the spinning pix tomorrow, because I want to take them in good light.

This is the combed tops all in a row. Very sweet.

And It's a good thing that I finished washing today since.... drum roll.... the 3 fleeces I purchased from the fabulous Myrtle Dow of Black Pines Farm blackpinessheep.com/ arrived yesterday! I opened them.. yes inside... I don't mind the smell of fleece (or sheep), but that is not how my husband and kids feel. Suffice it to say that they did not share the same joy as me when I opened my bag'O fleece. Yes, inside the bag were 2 wensleydale fleeces and one teeswater fleece. I have one more fleece coming from Desert Weyr desertweyr.com/ of Black Welsh Mountain Sheep.

After all this I better have all that I need for the Spin-Off scarf contest. Lots of fleece to wash, but it is loverly, lucious, incredible fleece. Myrtle was kind enough to send me one of her show fleeces, a black lamb Wensleydale.

Both Oogie from Desert Weyr desertweyr.com/ and Myrtle from Black Pines Sheep blackpinessheep.com/ have diligently worked to propagate special rare and/or endangered sheep Breeds.
Oogie has been instrumental in bringing in the Black Welsh Mountain Sheep and has the largest flock in the United states I believe. Myrtle has worked for years on the Karakul breed and the Wensleydale breed. She also breeds Teeswater and CVM. I think it is important for hand spinners and hand weavers to work to help support these breeds as well. This is one reason for my personal choices of which fleeces to use.

Believe me if I had the space, I would have more fleeces of all sorts, more looms, more wheels, more stash. But the truth is I don't own a barn or a studio ... lol... If I had a barn I might get sheep!

More tomorrow... it is time for this little fiber fiend to go to bed.

The Medieval Image of the Day: An Image In Honor of Sheep, Baaaaa

2009-04-11T00:04:00.001-07:00

This is 'Aries' from Les Belle Heures -- Yes, it is the representation of a ram in an astrological symbol, so I know what that means... you want another depiction of a medieval sheep!!! I knew it... ok, whatever you want ;)

(NOTE: You do know that you can click the image to enlarge it) ;)

This image of a sheep is from the Luttrell Psalter (and the image is from the British Library). (sorry about the image size, I will try to find an enlargement). This sheep (at bottom of the image) is not a Karakul (note the wave of the fleece - not the lock structure of the Karakul. And they did differentiate in depiction of lock structure. It is one way that we can trace the geneology of sheep.. well, well that too is for another post. ;) At any rate I hope you enjoy the images today. And have a great Holiday weekend. Whatever you might be celebrating I hope it includes good friends and good food.

Where have I been, what have I been doing???

2009-04-10T23:42:00.000-07:00

Aside from dealing with a school district, that has lost its ability to communicate with anyone including its own schools.... and then there was the stomach flu making life difficult for my youngest...

I've been working on scouring a fabulous Karakul fleece. I love supporting the rare breeds and I love the locks of the Karakul. When I look at fleece I really do try to think... application... etc... but you know... it is so beautiful, those colors, the locks, the luster... I can't help myself. So well, I saw it and I bought it. Even a few years in the bag and it is coming out loverly. If we don't love and use these ancient and rare fleeces will the breeds survive. Spin-Off did a wonderful project a few years ago on rare sheep breeds that included people making projects using the fleeces of these wonderful critters. Eventually, it went into a book from Interweave. It brought about an important and meaningful awareness of these breeds. We really are so incredibly fortunate to have had sheep in our human history (but that's another soapbox for another day). Sheep are as important as dogs. Yes, they are. ;)

I went and found a lovely little explanation and history of the Karakul from the Sheep 101 site and it says (directly quoted)(including photo):
http://www.sheep101.info/breedsJ-L.html

Karakul Ram from Black Pines Sheep
http://www.blackpinessheep.com/images/other.htm

(Astrakhan, Bukhara, Persian Lamb)

The Karakul may be the oldest breed of domesticated sheep. Archeological evidence indicates the existence of the Persian lambskin as early as 1400 B.C. and carvings of a distinct Karakul type have been found on ancient Babylonian temples. Native to the plains of Central Asia, Karakuls differ radically in conformation from most other American breeds. They are of the fat broad tailed type of sheep. In their large tail is stored fat, a source of nourishment, similar in function to the camel's hump. In Central Asia and South Africa , large flocks of Karakuls are still raised for pelt production from very young lambs. The skins of baby lambs with their tightly curled wool are used in the "Persian lamb" fur trade. Karakuls were introduced to the United States between 1908 and 1929. They are a specialty breed in the U.S. Their fleeces, long and colorful, are prized by hand spinners. Karakul wool is the wool upon which the art of felting evolved. The Karakul classified as a "rare" breed by the American Livestock Breeds Conservancy.

Breed categories: double-coated, fat-tailed, rare
Distribution: USA, Africa, Middle East, Europe, Asia

END QUOTE ---

So I have been scouring, sorting, combing in preparation for spinning. Maybe tomorrow I will get some pictures taken before it all becomes yarn,,, but I have to say for a little fleece there is a whole lot of wool... scouring as I can with no big blocks of consecutive time is problematic at best and it tries my patience, cause I wants it done now! lol... oh well

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-04-07T19:15:00.000-07:00

So since it has been a spinning kind of day the image of the day will reflect it.

This image is from 1237 ce from Baghdad. It is titled 'Al Makamat'. It pictures a mother and her son talking to a merchant or visitor.

This type of wheel still exists in other places such as India. Do not automatically suppose that the western great wheel evolved from this wheel. While we can postulate that this might have been part of evolutionary process of the western European wheel, it is equally as likely that this image and the wheels in use that it represented had nothing to do with our Western European wheels. These could equally have developed from the Silk reel as it entered into Spain and Italy. Of course we don't know, we can only guess. We can trace a path of where things occurred and the evidence of when the great wheel appeared in Europe, but the reality is that we do not know. It is all an educated guess. Just some food for thought. Enjoy the image.

Spinning my wheels...

2009-04-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

Trying hard to be productive this week, by scouring a karakul fleece to spin and dye for a scarf for the Spin-Off International Year of the Natural Fiber Contest. (Photos due May 20). Here is just a little bit of fun with some Louet roving -- this series of rovings is so much fun to spin. I got a couple of different colorways. Underneath is an old distaff from Lithuania.

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-04-03T21:10:00.000-07:00

This image is from the 15th c. ce

I love looking at the blooming cactus in the desert, but in honor of my encounter with the rattlesnake I submit three images that in their theme appears often during the middle ages, that of Adam and Eve toiling after their banishment from Eden after 'Their' encounter with a snake (and an apple tree). It is the depiction of Adam working the soil and Eve spinning. Note the use of a distaff with each Eve. I don't know if this is expressly the tradition or if it simply the constant use of distaves by women throughout the ages across many countries and traditions. It is in any case worthy of thought.

This image from Broughton Cambridgeshire Church.

And one more:

This image from the Fecamp Psalter

Hiking Adventures

2009-04-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

I did say that I had adventures last week in Palm Springs. I was remiss in not posting yet, but it has been a very involved week. Happily I am re-organizing a temporary loom space, which includes a handy 'by the loom' mini-bookcase... ok, I digress...

So my knight in shining armor and I went hiking leaving the un-cooperative, unenthused teenagers at home. We were on the Cahuilla,Agua Caliente Lands just on the very edge of Palm Springs. It was truly lovely there. Spring in the desert is beautiful. Coming from the mid-west & east coast I have gained an appreciation for the very different kind of landscape, the intensity of a different kind of green, the sculptural hand of rock, and for a subtlety that is not definable.

There is some incredible and varied hiking in this area. I did my reading and we went on a trail where Big Horn sheep are known to sometimes make an appearance.
What can I say ...I'm a fiber geek. I like sheep. Actually, I adore them. I love their history, their fabulous faces, oh yes, and their FLEECE... Of course I know as well as you that the Big Horn Sheep are not known for their fleece, but they are sheep, they are fabulous children of the rock and If I'm somewhere where a fiber critter might be, I'd like to see them. Ok, we didn't find a sheep. I'm just telling you now, so you don't get too excited and anxious waiting for me to show you the picture of the sheep we didn't see. We did find this:

But sadly, when we later identified it... It was a mule deer track -- NOT -- a big Horn sheep.

So we took this trail into Murray Canyon:

This is one of my favorite flowering bushes right now, The desert mallow.

Creosote and Desert Lavendar were two others that we loved (and of which they were plentiful. Creosote being the desert medicine cabinet for those that know how). We did see the bush that ephedrine comes from(remember phen phen), but we more or less left it alone. And lichen is here too! Living, but it is unclear whether the people who lived here once used this as a dye. The tribal ranger I talked too did not know.

This one however, is an Indigo Plant (although I don't know which sub-species). The Tribal ranger told us (on the Tahquwitz Canyon hike) that they put the leaves in hot simmering water to produce brown dye! I have to follow this one up. I have many questions.

There were lots of folks out hiking that morning (go figure... hiking in the desert ... morning might be the best time). There were the local residents of Palm Springs and enviorns. There were folks on horseback (lots of the trails are horse friendly) and families ... more or less prepared... The less prepared were out for fun in the desert with little water and flip flops... Darwin at work. Seriously, no water in the desert makes little Jack or Jill dehydrate and flip flops???? Let me tell you why flip flops are NOT a good idea for hiking (ok, I'm not talking about twisting an ankle and breaking a leg on rocky uneven ground) Nooooo, there are other hikers on the trail, who are not happy for our company.

This little guy (above) pretended he was a nubby rock. I loved his colors. Doesn't he say 'Tapestry' to you?!

This Brown gentleman, really didn't care who was on the trail as long as we didn't interrupt his sunbath.

So when we are hiking, generally my Knight in Shining Armor is in the rear, because I am the slowest. Most of the time hikers move to one side or the other to let someone pass, but of course one has to see them... or hear them. so there I was walking down the trail and I was taking in everything, looking for what might not be seen and listening to what is true quiet, when I heard a small sound. I stopped and looked down. There was my new friend... Not at all happy to be sharing the rocky trail with me.

All I could think of was, be still and move back. So I did one and then the other. I have never seen a rattlesnake that was alive. I have seen many dead ones, taxidermified rattle snakes, but never a live one. I kept thinking, 'Do we have a snakebite kit with us?'. Well, good sense not to poke the snake and a listening ear and neither of us got to know the feeling of a snake pumping venom. My husband did tell me to remember to take some pictures.

These gave me new appreciation for the size of snake and I think I counted 8 plus a small rattle ... is that 8 1/2 or 9?

It is very very well posted that this is wilderness and to beware of rattlesnakes and mountain lions (the latter of which I didn't see). One other hiker, who lived in town came up as my friend was slithering away and told us, he lived here and had never seen one before. I have to tell you all the other hikers were jealous that we got to see the snake and they didn't. One teenage boy was up on the rocks poking around looking for one. Actually, I feel honored by the snake. It was cranky, but very kind to meet me on the trail (and of course not bite me). It was a superbly lovely and well fed snake. The designs on its back reminded me of cardweaving I had done. The scales were pretty incredible. It is quite the mosaic. Inspiration is everywhere if we are open to it. So I didn't get to see a Big Horned Sheep, but I did get to meet a rattlesnake.

All of the canyons in that area have a great water source (that's why The Cahuilla settled there) and it really like the stereotypical oasis. Palm Trees and the spring. There are also Sycamores growing and lots of other life abounds in the area because of the water and the springs. The Palms are fan tailed palms and are native to the region, although later in the 1800's or 1900's (you know give or take a hundred years)lol, date palms were imported and planted as an additional food source.

This is Tahquwitz Falls in Tahquwitz canyon. It is a great hike and right in town. Just drive south and take a right. Kind of blows the mind how 'right there' the wilderness is.

I think it is a good way to live (except of course for when the fires burn). (You know, California, land of natural disasters, earthquakes, mudslides, and forest fires). This is what a Palm that survives a fire looks like years later; scarred, but live.

And yet there is a reason we don't move. It is an inspired place to live both in the wide and varying landscapes (desert, mountain, and coast) as well as the feeling of relaxed openess around me.

Medieval Image of the Day: The Noble Pastorale / The Work of Wool

2009-03-30T00:44:00.000-07:00

It is over, but since I missed posting during the week, here is the Medieval Image of the Weekend in Honor of the Angora Goats that cannot come live at my house.

This image is attributed to both Flanders or Northern France (depending on one's source) around 1500 ce.

Note the box loom the woman on the left is using with a rigid heddle for narrow ware work. (Ck out the Spanish Peacock for a reproduction of this loom and a stunning wooden rigid heddle). Note the little reel the sheperd is using and all the cool tools on the figure's belts. This is a great resource image.

Don't you want to take these home?!

2009-03-30T00:19:00.001-07:00

I found these in 'Grandpa's Barn' on the Spinning and Weaving Housecleaning pages.
Aren't they fabulous?! I'd love to have them, but like chickens ... we aren't zoned for them. Angora Goats... and such lovely color and lucious fiber, but I would love them just for themselves not only for their color.

Much of it Weft something to be desired...

2009-03-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

So the sample did make it off the table loom and I'm contemplating which part will make it to fabric. Strangely it seems that the last bit I did using a black for the weft is probably going to be my preference. It was not my plan initially to even use the black, but it was the last little bit of warp left to squeeze something in so I thought, why not for fun. The thing is that the warp is made up of a lovely set of yarns of various colors and the other wefts sort of swallowed it and the subtlety of the yarns were lost.

I did three different warp colorways, two different threadings, and 7 1/2 weft colors. Sometimes I have trouble narrowing things down.

The stark contrast of the black really worked for me, plus I love black. Black being a conglomeration of all colors and color being seductive...it works.

I did try white(which was ok, but not my aesthetic) and the green solid weft worked well so the choices are really the green solid or the black for weft. er... maybe the blue???

As to the two differently threaded drafts... I think the larger because depending on which way one looks at it, there are two patterns... somewhat Escher-like.

At any rate, the more I look at it ... I might have to stop looking for awhile.

Looming on the horizon...

2009-03-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

I think I have to back up a little while.... I have been looking for some time for an 8 harness loom. I was undecided about an 8 harness floor or a table loom, but everyone I talked to said... floor loom, that even with a custom table or the ability to tie up to treadles that the floor loom was THE way to go. Even so no loom appeared on my horizon and I was leaning towards a Jane Louet (yes, but an oh so lovely table loom). What I really really had been looking for was a well priced used 8 harness... My cup overfloweth and I found, adopted, and brought home a lovely 16 harness Macomber loom, (about 45 inch weaving width).

This is MORE loom than I ever thought would come into my life. It might be too much! A loom with 16 harnesses is intimidating! However, it is lovely and I do love it. It is amazing and came with lots and lots of extra heddles,(although good people are telling me to go with texsolve), 5 reeds, lease sticks, a bench, a lovely double boat shuttle. I am the third owner since it was made (a long time ago by the looks of it - it was made in Mass and Macomber is now in Maine). I'll be calling them this week, one nice person told me he called and they gave him the entire sales history. Everyone seems to love their Mac's. I have been extrodinarily lucky and came by a copy of Bonnie Inouye's book, Multishaft design (now out of print), which will help me immensely. I know that undulating twill is in my future...

I have to name her. She has never been named. I have to also get her at least temporarily situated so we can have some bonding time.

Back from the Wilds of Palm Springs..

2009-03-28T08:43:00.000-07:00

My blog is crying, because it feels ignored. I've had many adventures this past week. REALLY! Loom adventures, shopping, and yes wilds in Palm Springs... surprisingly almost within city limits some amazing hiking on the Cahuilla Indian Reservation. Very good people maintaining and preserving some pristine wilderness as well as their cultural traditions. More on this later. I've sent the son off to build and program robots (really) and now I'm off to visit a soccer field as a maternal representative of an involved party, yep soccer mom, back from vacation...
film at eleven --- or more for the blog later. ;)

Medieval Image of the Day

2009-03-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

This image is from the Eadwine Psalter in Christchurch England. It features what may be an interpretation of the 3 fates... Those ladies with scissors scare me... too close to just spun yarn and a woven work! However, It may just be a scene with implements of fiber production by an artist who was not a fiber person. Whatever it is... we like it! (Loom picture in honor of my sample coming off the loom). :)

Have a great weekend folks!

Off the loom!

2009-03-20T22:57:00.001-07:00

The sample is off the loom and for the last little bit I did an unplanned black weft and a second little bit of a lovely deep not royal blue... ;p
It needs to be washed and pressed before photographing and doing my little window for draft and color selection. That will be around Monday, because this weekend I am so busy running in a million directions that I'll be lucky to be standing at the end of the day.

I might be getting a new (used) loom. ;) TBD... details later so I don't jinx it.

Medieval Image of the Day: A Spin-In

2009-03-19T23:49:00.000-07:00

I have always been primarily a spinner, but I also completely love textile history, history of sheep, ethnic textiles, textile methods and traditions, and the like. I have been collecting textile images for years for a variety of purposes. I thought I would share one every once in a while. I'll stick to the older images since I know Marcy has been sharing postcard images for years on her website, Habetrot. I love visiting that site.

This image is an illumination from 1475, The City of God. Imagine, it was a medieval Spin-in

Project Sample... Almost done

2009-03-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

(my favorite part is really cutting off the warp, but I also love seeing the end coming on that turn towards the end).

I'm about to put a movie all by myself and take a half hour and finish up my sample warp. 3 different threadings, 4 different colorways, and 4 different wefts. Then I get to decide and finish the pattern for the garment. But it feels fantastic to be at the finishing point of one step!

Pix aren't the best, because I am using my husbands pocket waterproof camping camera, which works great with scouts, but has not judgement about exposure for indoors things. I wanted to get a picture before it is off the loom.

A special Treeeeeet for lovers of sheep!

2009-03-18T17:58:00.000-07:00

Irons in the pot

2009-03-18T02:45:00.001-07:00

When I get a bit of time to download I will be able to catch up with photos at least. Here's to say that I have just a few irons in the pot.

I've got two mini-tapestry studies going with some fair to middlin' sketches for the future.

I have a purely white piece off the loom that is small and was a giant warp end not used and forgotton... it will have a new life as a shibori dye experiment probably for the Fiber Retreat in May unless I do it at home first (I can be sooo impatient).

I took a great class with Sharon Alderman at ASCH at the beginning of March and I am almost done with the samples for the cloth I designed. I am very excited to get it off the little loom.

I have done a fair amount of spinning from the truly fun Louet pencil rovings. I have two bobbins left to ply of one. I bought about 3 or 4 colorways of the stuff... color seduces, what can I say.

I have to get some spinning done for the dyepots at the Griffin Dyeworks fiber retreat in May. I'm teaching there, but I get some time for my own dye samples (yea!). It will be a wonderful time. I can't wait.

I have a class at an elementary school coming up in April to prep for. I'll be teaching their Gifted and Talented kids -- natural dyes, spinning, and some basic weaving.

I have also really worked very hard at my tablet weaving, which I can now say is respectable (at long last). I have two inkle looms with work ongoing, one twinkle loom (fun little loom), and one box loom on order from the Spanish Peacock. I can't wait for that one. I did see that Glimakra has a GREAT band loom for sale now - and it comes incredibly close to re-creating the early middle ages band looms. Very very cool!

Oh, and there is knitting.... yes well, it travels pretty well. I expanded my horizons and am trying some more complicated socks. Mitts-are-me this year. Sadly, the dog got to one of my daughter's mitts -- she was so sad, but if I cut it down to just under half, I should be able to rescue it. (I really will have to tell the tale of this dog and hand knit items!) Makes me cry almost.

I am committed to doing better at the blog work. It is truly worthwhile.

It's been a while...

2009-03-18T00:46:00.000-07:00

It's been some time since I visited here, but I did some re-modeling and I have some serious catching up to do. The year or so I spent on live-journal really helped me remain focused on project continuation and completion. This year I'd like to re-focus on the completion aspect as well as the contemplation of new work... not just this or that, but work that better expresses me. Work that is harder, but will be more worthwhile and will feed my soul.

So I have been exploring a bit and remodeling the blog to be a primary blog (did you know I have about three incomplete blogs)... too much. And I have been visiting many many places online and elsewhere (see my list of favorite blogs). There is a lot of creativity out there and it strengthens the heart to know it.

I visited the Oregon College of Art and Craft. They have an interesting manifesto.

"Craft. It's who we are, it's who we've always been. When others are turning their back on craft, it is our time to embrace it. To own it. To lead. Without Craft there is no art.

Craft is making. Making is fundamental. Fundamentals are essential to give context and provide a framework. Rules must be learned before they can be broken. (And we are certain to break them)."

"Craft is making. Making is fundamental. Fundamentals are essential. Craft is essential. Through Craft we make things no one's ever seen: Make waves, Make a statement, Make things better, Make them different. Make. Make Art."

I think this is a good place to start. And then there is Sarah Swett's idea of Palouse to consider as well.

Small Things Exchange

2008-04-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

I belong to a wonderful list filled with fiber folk who have been talking online for simply years. This year I got brave (cause I really can finish the odd thing) ;), and I signed up for the 'Small Things Exchange'. At the time it was January so I made a small pair of mitts with bright colors to encourage spring to peek out and arrive. (So many of our members live on mountaintops, cold areas of this and other countries. Spring is a visitor they wait for and welcome). The first photo is 'in progress'. The second and third are finished, YEA!!! I am waiting to see what might come my way, when we are finally mailed our exchange items. (I should say that, YES, I did do two mitts, not just the one in the picture. The other hand held the camera!).

A small Things Exchange is not as daunting as say 'lace shawl' or other crazy intense item exchange. It is just right for me or anyone else wanting to participate, but overwhelmed by the idea of a giant item to be made. It is a good way to participate in a creativity exchange. Always a good thing to try out.

Saying merely "Yarn" is not enough

2008-04-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

The idea of blogging has intrigued me for some time. At first I thought... too much time. I should take that time and use it to make things, but I have this little problem with >finishing things<, if I have a nemesis that one would be high on my list. Eventually, I got a bit curious and started reading blogs here and there, noticing what people did with their blogs, and actually asking one or two... why do you do that. My initial thought was to use my blog as therapy for my own grieving process and to not forget after my father died. Then I added to that the idea of Keeping track of projects and recording finished items. It really does help.

But then As I read more and more I discovered that people are eloquent. People are out there making a difference. People are inspiring others to act, to create, to participate in the conversation that is life.

I have much to learn on the technical side, but I have decided that these things are all important to me.

I think one of the most inspiring people whose blog I visit regularly... just to hang out, because she doesn't live anywhere close to getting together for coffee or lunch; is Abby. Her blog is 'Abby's Yarns'. She makes yarns and she tells yarns. But saying merely 'Yarn' is not enough. Here is one of my favorites or her yarns. It tells much about her, where she comes from, and why what she does gifts all of us in some fashion.

'A first Look at Something Huge': http://www.abbysyarns.com/wordpress/?p=177

So to say that the Yarns she tells are merely yarns by the fire is lyrical, but does not give them the warmth and eloquence they deserve. She engages and brings us all into the circle. She helps us all join the dance. Abby spins out to us flowing as the Andean Women dance and spin in the same moment. I missed spending time with her at SOAR and I won't do that again.

Now I did not speak about the physical manifestations of Abby's yarn. Again to say merely 'yarn' is a misnomer. I was so inspired by some of her posts that I had to visit her so I went and bought some of her yarn. Well, it hasn't arrived yet since I bought it yesterday online, but her colors are brilliant. Color is seductive and one has to know how to use it. Abby doesn't need lessons. She has color and she uses it. The combination of her spun-a-licious yarn and her seductive use of color can be too much even for the experienced spinner-knitter-weaver. It was too much, I was overcome and well, I a little less cash, but I am rich rich RICH... for I have more than merely yarn coming soon to a mailbox near me.

Of course except for the orange bit... I don't have anything close to a plan to use it.

Wound Upon a Rock

2008-04-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

When my daughter had just turned 2 I was given a sudanese drop spindle, mighty heavy, but it had a hook and I bought fiber to play with and I spun, and spun, and spun, a n d s p u n.... until at last I had no more fiber, but a big GIANT cone of yellow singles on a stick. So I wound it onto something and got some more fiber from somewhere. Spinning with no direction, I just kept doing it, and not plying.
One of my closest Bosom buddies widened my world in a single fell swoop. She noticed my second spun yarn at an arts display (before she really knew me). I had spun it, but I didn't even know how to ply so I wound it on a rock to show what I had been up too. A lovely little bit of roving (a very little bit) spun and wound upon a nice rock I found. At this point I had no more fiber, but I REALLY wanted to spin. She took me under her wing, loaned me a wheel, never once in these 13 years denigrated my yarn on a rock, and then one day she suggested we pop up to SOAR and room together. What in the world is SOAR?

So we packed up and off we went and WOW. I thought I died and gone to heaven. Guess what!? There were other fiber geeky (except we are all now really fiber fiends) people. Other people who liked sheep and didn't think I was wierd. People who were MUUUCH farther gone than I. At that point I ah, didn't have a fiber stash to speak of. Anyway, my Bosom Bud sheperded me around told me cool things to do like volunteer to help. And I volunteered to man the welcome desk on Thursday (during market time. (don't be worried friends, I managed to buy enough to fill an additional suitcase. ;) ) I welcomed everyone ever so enthusiastically including Linda Ligon, who took this newbie's jubilence with a smile. I was just overwhelmed with SOAR. I took notes and cried at Karen Selk's presentation. (At that time I was raising my own silkworms and had almost no one to share it with... that is who understood that form of my insanity). I did EVERYTHING I could and by the last workshop session, I could no longer spin on my wheel and could hardly form a question with my mouth. This little sponge was fairly dripping with the week and could no longer absorb anything more than, 'I'm a warm body in the room'.

Quite frankly that week in uncountable ways changed the very fiber of my being. (Yes, there is a pun there, but the allusion is unresistable) (please stop throwing tomatoes now). I was changed. I taken some toddler steps into the big giant world.

Did I mention the marketplace? Well, the marketplace has to be experienced to be truly appreciated. Fiber vendors of every ilk, from all corners of the globe, descend to display their wares. Uh, not only display... but to let us touch, fondle, and of course buy... Karen Selk's husband just laughed at me with my arms full of ... incredible toys, there were books from Yarn Barn, Wooden fiber implements from Woody at Woodchuck's, Sheila and Jonathon Bosworth and their toys, and of course Francine's 'Rovings'.

As I said I was virginal in my visit to the marketplace and I could not understand why all these people were lined up the length of the marketplace to get into her booth. So being ever curious I grabbed a big garbage bag from her booth like everyone else and got into line. (You see my sheperd and Bosom Buddy could not protect me from the seduction of THE MARKETPLACE and although she was equally overcome, she had experience, wisdom, and restraint on her side. She also recognized there was nothing that could be done for me once I walked through those doors). At any rate eventually, I arrived in the booth to pay for my very large lawn size garbage bag of what turned out to be space dyed Polworth roving. Absolutely, amazing stuff. The thing is every year I am compelled by the spirits of the Polworth sheep to buy more roving (my own weakness has absolutely NOTHING whatsoever to do with it). But I noticed,,, or you know, my husband noticed that I was accumulating fleeces dyed, undyed, just shorn; that well (if the truth be told), I wasn't getting spun up, used up, given away... in short whereas once I had no stash... now I did. So this past year I restrained myself and did NOT buy a garbage bag of roving or fleece. I resolved to spin up at least one of my bags from Francine (but don't worry, I did buy polworth, silk and polworth cashmere blends of YARN, because Yarn isn't fleece or a bag of roving.

So here a a few photos (above) of what's left of my bag of roving. I would say I have an eighth of a bag left (which gives you an idea of what I've spun up already). I must think of a project for it. One of my friends said she volunteered to be a recipient and I could give it to her if I couldn't think of a use. It's good to have friends. :)

I would not now have so much fun or be who I am, were it not for the gift of a drop spindle, my rock, and my bosom buddy suggesting we pop off to spend a week at SOAR. Fiber is such an intrinsic part of my being that who knows what would have become of me... I still have my yarn wound on a rock.

An entry about Dad

2008-02-25T02:24:00.001-08:00

This entry is copied from a series of other things written by me about my father. It is important for me personally to keep these memories however difficult, alive somewhere. They might help someone else know they are not alone and it is theraputic to me in some odd way.

Written March 2007

This is Dad with the kids in August of 2004. We didn't know that this would be our last vacation together, that this would be the last time for so many things I cannot say. He died March 12 of 2005. At the time this photo was taken he was sick, but didn't know it.

When he died I was there. I had been there through the night. I sat by him and wandered in and out of waking and sleeping with my hand holding his and a tibetan rosary wrapping us together. In the morning a doctor came by with a load of interns all looking up at me from eyes with heads partially bent. They knew that he was dying. They were there to see what death looked like as it came closer. They asked me if he needed more pain meds, because they knew if they upped the dosage he would go faster. He was comfortable and I couldn't bear to hasten my father's death. I said no. I called my sister. I told her to get there. I knew he was going to leave soon. He waited for my Aunt to get there. They turned off the monitoring devices so we wouldn't focus on the breathing in and breathing out of lines on a graph. I was holding his hands and I could see the gradual leaving of his spirit. His body changed ever so slightly and then slightly again. I had my hand on his heart. I could feel it beating. I had my other hand holding his. The awful nurse said, "I'll call the doctor", and thankfully left and I said "I can still feel his heartbeating" and then it stopped and he didn't breathe anymore and he was gone. Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone I cannot evoke the goneness. He was gone and he is gone and I will never ever have a heart that is whole again.

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I am adding these to this entry many months later. This is an entry from my other blog (trying to consolidate things and not lose them). As sad as things have been or are at times, these things remembered, oddly sometimes keep us whole. I wrote this one last year, which was 2 yrs after his death.

Dad's year... another bit

2005-08-22T01:13:00.000-07:00

No one wanted to say the word 'cancer'. My sister, L. didn't want to think it might be pancreatic. Everyone we knew who had suffered this ... had died quickly and painfully. We knew it was stage 4, which won't always mean death, but does mean metastasis. And that's the problem with pancreatic cancer. The prognosis if you catch it before it metastasizes is SIGNIFICANTLY better. They can even remove the pancreas, but if it has spread they can do very little. Radiation does not work, because the tumors are seed like and cannot be targeted. They can't go in and clean a person up. They won't be able to get it all and it grows VERY quickly.

Dad went home from the Hospital. It seemed the blockage was clearing, things were moving in the right directions and he could eat without pain, but things were hard for him and his body was weak. He had a friend stay with him. I went home to California.

We got the results of his biopsy, the initial pathology was that it was pancreatic or liver cancer. Then we found out that it was pancreatic cancer. Dad tried to hide it from us. But we wanted to know. One of the hard things for him at this point was that he now had less privacy. His life was more open to us. We all needed eachother and we desperately beyond all things wanted to find a way to save our father.

I got home, hugged my family, did lots of laundry, got caught up on all the things that needed to be done and then... was it one or two weeks???... My father was back in the hospital. The blockage was there, eating was not something he could do at all. He was on ice chips and on an IV.

Dad hated the hospital. He did have a window, but the Television is so awful and there was not music. We should have had music for him. Music is good for the soul. Take a cd player. Get a cheap one. It will soothe and help to pass the time.

This time some kind of surgery was indicated for the blockage. It clearly was not going to go away. There was a great deal that had gone on during the 2 weeks Dad was home. We had all done massive research on possible treatments, Doctors... all kinds of things. The best thing to do is to look at every hospital in your area. See at least 3 doctors specializing in the area of oncology needed. Ck out all the various studies they are doing. Look at all the treatment options. Do all of it. Do the research. Find the best path for you.

My sister had moved heaven and earth and managed to get an appt with someone at Sloan Kettering. It is all exquisite, but there are also drawbacks. He was seen by 3 doctors. We all thought that SK would be best. The usual treatments would not yield a positive result, but some of the newer molecular drugs might help him. We thought we had found the way, the doctor, the best of the best. I think we still have doubts, but that is because our father died.

Now Dad was back in the hospital and because of insurance we were at another hospital for his surgery. We had a surgical oncologist and gastrointerologist at one hospital and we had an Oncologist with a big name and large reputation at another hospital.

The surgical oncologist was very pushy to Dad about switching to an Oncologist at his hospital. He was too pushy and my one sister just about went over the edge to him. The problem was he was pushing at two issues. One issue was the surgery and how it would all happen. Really it would not have been so hard to deal with this one if he had not been pushing the second one... of switching doctors before my father had even had his surgery. The doctor was a good person. He really believed that my father didn't belong at SK. He believed in his hospital's ability to give my father the continuity of care needed. He felt that having one doctor at one hospital and another at the other hospital was not good, because the ability of both of them to communicate and collaborate was not optimal... and given the different structures of hospitals and the stupid possessive, egotistical, and political games they all play................... unfortunately, he was probably right, BUT his bedside manner in communicating this left a lot to be desired. He would talk to my father when we weren't there. My father was scared, weak, on pain meds. Doctors talk to their patients, but patients who are that ill MUST have someone to listen in, help evaluate, help filter the information. It is NOT fair to badger someone. Anyway, Doctors, patients, and friends/families/advocates MUST work hard to work together and respect eachother.

The day of the surgery arrived. First we thought it would be a morning surgery, which incidently is better for the body and an individual's recovery chances. The surgery was pushed to late afternoon and finally around 4 They called for my Dad. This meant he would be taken from his room to the surgical floor. I could go with him to that floor, but not through the doors where prep, surgery etc.. would be done.

This time we were all very scared. Dad would have the procedure to remove and fix the intestinal blockage done again by endoscopy. I would not see the surgeon that day until after the surgery. I took him down. I was so scared. I was terrified and I was calm. I held my Dad's hand. The people that roll beds down to various floors with patients are wonderful. They sing, they make jokes, they talk to you. They are good people. My dad had his hair in a surgical cap. He was a bit drowsy. I told him how much I loved him. I kept hoping my love of him would make it better. I told him I would be there, I knew he would do well. I wanted him to not be afraid. I wanted him to live so much. I kissed his cheek. He squeezed my hand and he went through the doors.

I kept wishing that an angel would show up and make it all better. I was hoping for Touched By an Angel kind of magic. I was worried about not having told the surgeon that here was a person that deserved to live. Here was someone beloved by so many. It is a year later and I don't remember exactly how, but there was a young intern type in scrubs, who came out before Dad went in and said hi to Dad. Dad recognized him and said hi. He always remembered people's names and something about them. Dad was smiling at him and the intern kind of grinned back. He would be assisting in the surgery.

I think that surgeons and others don't come out until later because the family has this intense need to unload to talk ... I don't know... all I know was that I wanted to tell the Surgeon all sorts of things about my Dad, because in my mind somehow it would make a difference in his surgery. The young intern dissappeared somewhere and I was with my Dad still and then he went through the doors. Kind of hard to keep it all chronological. There are so many details and they play through my mind.

So Dad was through those doors where I couldn't go and I was going back up to Dad's room to get my things and go to the surgical waiting room. I got to the visitor elevator bank and there was the intern waiting for the elevator. I don't know how he and I were talking and I know he was trying to talk with me without saying anything wrong, but I think he just listened to me. The only real thing I actually remember saying to him was that my father was very loved. Somehow I felt like he would say that to the surgeon before the procedure. I felt like an important message would be conveyed and that it would be a helpful magic to make things better. I kept hoping he was an angel and that he would make it better. I kept wishing for that light to appear. Probably, my father was surrounded by angels, but I couldn't see. There isn't any logic at all to this. It is pure feeling and how the mind bends itself to protect our sanity and ability to cope.

So I went back upstairs and when I got to his room and there was no bed there and it seemed dark outside I began to cry. One of my Dad's friends was waiting there for me watching our things and he made me sit down. He said 'why don't you take 5 min to sit down. There is no hurry.' He was very kind and later he waited with me in the waiting room for the surgeon, which was what seemed a very very long time.

There was an empty desk in the waiting room with a phone on it and comfortable chairs everywhere. I sat at the desk and tried to do some paper work. I even answered the phone... physicians calling for families not there.... This woman came up to the desk and I looked up. "I'm sorry, I don't work here...." I didn't recognize another friend of my father's, who had come to see how things were. I was a little zoned. So we talked and we three waited and then she had to leave after a while so I waited some more and sort of looked at the papers and then realistically put them all away. I could do nothing. And that is kind of how we all feel... we can do nothing ... even when we do a lot... that is how it feels .. like nothing, because we cannot effect a change in the direction we want to go.

Finally, the surgeon arrived and he said.. 'let's sit down'. My calm was back. All the kindness in my heart was there for this surgeon. I believed in him and I kept thinking that I could not believe how he did his job. He is a surgical oncologist and he has to tell families and patients many days how sick a person is and what can and cannot be done.

So he told us that the disease had progressed a great deal in two weeks and that Dad had to start chemo quickly. (complications on that, but more later -- no chemo until 30 days after surgery due to drugs dissolving stitches when taken) I don't remember all he told me now a year later, but I have it all in my green spiral notebook. I do remember taking his hand, looking him in the eyes and saying... 'Are you telling me; my father is going to die?' and he said yes.

Looking back... he knew how it would all unfold. He knew what would happen, what we would do, the procedures that would need to happen and how my father would die. He didn't tell me all that, but looking back at small things he said and intimated... he knew and he was right.

I don't know why I could not cry, would not cry, did not cry. I was so calm. I looked at the photos he had taken of my father inside his body. I saw the minute tiny tumor seeds. My father had 3 blockages taken care of during this surgery. He had 5 endoscopy incisions. Two of the incisions were larger, because that is where the bowel was taken out and worked on. The intestine was not removed. It was kind of resected like a bow, creating a new path for things to travel through.

The race was on to get to chemo, to heal, to eat again... all of it to beat the tumor nodules/seeds from creating another blockage. One of the things the surgeon said was that surgery would not be an option again.

It is late again and I'll write more another time.

Mixed-Up Melange

2005-08-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

Mixed-Up Melange

Ok, stupid mistake. My work is copyright and may NOT be used or reproduced without my permission.

I'm a little tired and pre-coffee this morning.

A Reminder

2005-08-14T10:25:00.000-07:00

Mixed-Up Melange

I am reminded by a friend to say that my writing is copyright and may used or reproduced without my permission.

Stupid to have to say it, but unfortunately the unscrupulous ruin it for the rest of us.

Mixed-Up Melange

2005-08-14T03:46:00.000-07:00

Mixed-Up Melange

August 13, 2005 -- Written in Retrospect

It has been nearly a year since I made my blog and I have felt unmoved to write. One inciteful individual sent me a response as to why we write stating that it is an individual's need to be heard. I have given this a great deal of thought. Another friend views it as an individual's right and ability to be heard that makes the opportunity of blogging unique. He likens it as a revolution in the way that the printing press brought the common man the printed word and it was no longer held within the power and purview of the Noblesse and Church. Philosophy of the blog.

At any rate I have been sitting here and considering what it would benefit me and given this year it might be good. My life in many ways has exhausted my friends. They have stood by me through the worst of what my life has offered me and now I do not want to burden them, but I feel a need to communicate, to talk, and to share. And if you who read this feel like you think I'm sappy, self centered, or boring you can go to another blog. Some are very entertaining.

My life in August was wonderful. It was happy and full. I even remember wondering how life could be so joyful and if it would always be so. I could not envision life being less or presenting us with a problem. I think the act of questioning this was the beginning of realization that something might happen. I was doing some initial sketches for a tapestry I wanted to do. It is a stream of consciousness type work. It started with a face and then with movement around the page and then with 2 more faces. I was thinking creation and came up with three fates and one was cutting a string. I was somewhat afraid and I stopped working on the project. It worried me that it had appeared.

In July my father told us much later he had not felt well, had started losing wt. My father was never a heavy man. He had always been healthy and carried a good wt. He went to a spa in mid-August where there was very simple pure food, no alcohol, and mild exercise. He lost 20 lbs in two weeks. This should have been a warning sign. This is not normal or healthy!

At the end of August my father was supposed to visit me after a business trip. He called me and told me he had to get back home and could not make it. I later found out he had thought he had experienced a terrible terrible painful stomach flu or had an ulcer. His G.P. at the time being young... did not tests, but prescribed a strong ulcer/antacid type medication. Later, One of his friends commented on his wt loss and told him it was not normal and that something was wrong. My father laughed even when sorely pressed by his friend and said that nothing was wrong.

In mid October we had a family wedding and there was so much joy. We were all so happy to be together and we enjoyed eachother. The only thing I noticed was how thin my father was. I asked him about this and he told me he was as thin as he had been in high school. I told him I thought he was a little too thin.

About 3 weeks later my father was hospitalized with some kind of intestinal blockage. About 2 weeks after that we knew that he had pancreatic cancer. I have felt since then that I intuited a message and the message was about life changing and the shifting of places that occurs through the passing of time.

I want to write about my time this year and remember it. I'm going to share it and it is my hope that it will be helpful to someone. I will tell you that so many times I felt alone. I knew I was not, but my life was turned completely inside out. I will say that I am not a fundamentalist, but God was with me and sometimes a moment of prayer where no words could express, but I just felt and tried to be open would help.

Dad went into the hospital in mid October 2004. The Doctors tried to get the blockage to go away with less intrusive methods. He needed to have an endoscopy done to determine what was causing the blockage. An endoscopy is where a small incision is made and a little camera goes in to have a look around.

I went down to the surgical floor with my Dad and I had to stop at the big doors leading into the 'no visitors - Dr's and Teams preparing patients' area. I had to leave him and I was so afraid. I was 42 and he was my big strong father and things were happening I could not bear to think about. I leaned over him and I smiled and I told him I would be waiting and how much I loved him. He had lost about 30 lbs by this time and he was seriously thin, but to me he was still my strong and handsome father, who was impervious to bad things. Nothing could go wrong and he could never die. And yet... I knew he could die in surgery. I was scared. We all had laughed off the idea of cancer. We all thought it was diverticulitis. It would have been wonderful if it was.

Dad went through the big doors and I was told to go to the surgical waiting area. My sisters could not be there with me. They have small children. Mine were 9 and 12 and they were on the opposite coast. My amazing friends were picking them up after school, feeding them snacks, monitoring homework, and taking them to soccer for me. Devotion and love. I can never repay them for this year.

I was in the waiting room. I was waiting, sitting, not daring to go anywhere. I was alone by myself and my father was upstairs being photographed inside his abdominal cavity. I cannot tell you the loneliness of a waiting room. I cannot tell you the fear. The human imagination is an amazing and powerful thing. It is better to focus on something. Reading was right out. I am a fiber person, but the usual spinning and knitting were right out. My hands were too shakey. I had a little notebook (something my father had always kept) and I took notes in it, guarded telephone numbers, and reminded myself of things... all surrounding the subject of my father and his life. I dug through my bag of books, knitting, spinning, waterbottle and snacks of nuts to find my little notebook. It was a green spiral 5X7 notebook. I opened it up and I wrote out the 23rd psalm. I wrote it out twice as I remembered it and then I read it over and over again. In my state of mind I could not say it in my mind without reading it from a page. I read it for hours and I believed it.

In our current culture we don't really understand what a shepard represents to a sheep. We don't know the total dependance of the sheep upon the shepard. What is a rod and why does a shepard use a staff. What does it mean when a shepard makes a sheep lie down in green pastures beside still waters. Consider what peace of mind is given to the sheep, because he has a shepard. It is in the worst moments of our life, when we have to be responsible for people who have been responsible for us or when we believe we are going to fall or fail or not be able to go on that the idea of peace of mind and someone caring for us is seductive, cherished, craved. When we have to be the shepard it is a hard thing and if we can find solace in finding a divine power who can be our shepard some of the burden is lifted if only for a while.

After many hours the surgeon came out of the elevator and came to me. He wanted to sit down and talk. I had been so stressed and filled with anguish. I could not believe the calm that came over me. I could not believe the smile and the motherly feelings I had for him. I know he was older than me, but none the less I wanted to care for him, because I knew he didn't want to tell me what he saw.

So Dad's surgical doctor told me that he had looked inside my dad in his abdominal cavity and his intestinal area in specific to find the blockage. He had found 'tumor deposits', 'tumor seeds'. He had found them on the abdominal wall and he had found them in many places on his intestines. Although, they were extremely tiny, the tumor deposits were compressing into someplace on his small intestine and it was causing the blockage. He told me that it was definitely cancer.

That word is a hateful insidious word that we all despise and fear. I felt the cushion of the seat under me and I looked into his blue eyes. I said, " It must be very hard for you to tell me this. I think you are doing a very good job." This surgeon is a surgical oncologist. The gastroenterologist must have suspected what was going on. Doctors at this point will not tell you everything. You have to craft the questions in non-emotional medical terms. At that point I didn't have any medical terms to go on. That came later. I asked him if he had biopsyed the deposts and he said yes. He said it looked like adenocarcinoma. Adenocarcinoma comes in several flavors, but I didn't know that at the time. I now believe in hindsight and seeing the whole picture that he knew what kind of cancer it was. It looked almost textbook from what I later found out.

I believe I was in some kind of shock. I was kind of mentally floating, asking what questions I could. Dad was in recovery and it would be two hours until I could see him. I was ready at that moment to handle it all. I was not going to tell my sisters until later. My Dad had to be told by the Doctor. We had to get the biopsy report...we had to, we had to , we had to do ..... something. It is being active that keeps us sane. Inactivity leads to breaking down. Somehow one has to find restful activity so one doesn't burn out and so one stays same at the same time. HAH, well, easier said than done. Wisdom in retrospect... I hope it helps someone. A quiet walk was all I was later able to muster on sketchy regularity.

After he left I just started to breakdown. I had two hours to wait until I could see my Dad. Two eternal hours. I called a friend at home and broke down and cried. Moments after I hung up my therapist called me. Somehow he intuited the moment and called at one of the worst moments I could ever have imagined. Later it would be more painful and terrible, but at that moment it felt like every awful thing from my life didn't matter and that the depth of darkness could not be more than in that time in the waiting room. My therapist is an amazing person. He has good sense, compassion, and he can reach into a dark space and provide a lighted tunnel to another place. The thing he told me that sticks with me almost a year later is that I did not and should not bear this burden alone. He told me to call my sisters, that they should be there with me and would want to be there with me. There was more said that remains with me as a sense of comfort and some kind of guidance that I did not have for myself.

I called my sisters and told them both to come to the hospital. Both of my brother-in-laws came with them and I was glad. When I told them; my middle sister (I am the oldest) was like she had been physically punched in her middle and she semi fainted into her husband. It is not so dramatic. It really does happen. It is like we are being beaten to have our world so threatened and so beyond our control. The Surgeon re-appeared as if on cue. He came to say we could go up in 30 minutes. My middle sister interrogated him. She really hoped I had gotten it all wrong and was aggressive in trying to prove it. I wish I had mis-understood, but the surgeon repeated what I had relayed and the verdict was still cancer and it was very very dangerous. We understood that immediately.

My husband was not there with me. My husband was holding down the fort at home and helping me to be with my father. There was no one to hold me. No one for me to physically lean on. I felt a need to be strong again and I did not break down. I told myself I was a rock, I was a rock, I was a rock. I would not break. I would be strong.

There are so many little details I could write. One of my little nephews wanted to run around. We needed to go upstairs. We needed to pretend everything was fine. The surgeon would talk to my father in the morning when the anesthesia had worn off and he had rested. We went upstairs. We kissed our father. We held his hand. We smiled. He had cryed from the pain and there were tear tracks on his face. My heart already breaking, broke again and again. How much I loved and love my father. How much I felt the depth of all the love I could bear and all the threat against my father, that scraped at me again and again. How could my father suffer and be threatened?

That day and that night went so slowly by. The pain in me was a lump and also all encompassing. It was unbearable. But one has no choice and humans have the capacity to feel and bear all kinds of pain. I want to say that this year was about pain, suffering, death,parting; but it was about so incredibly much more and I do not have the capacity in one sitting to write it all down. So it will come out slowly and maybe I can make some sense of it over time.

My sisters and I went home. I was staying with both of them.. sort of splitting myself so that both would have a chance to have me with them. I went home with my middle sister and we had to make some decisions. We had to call his sisters and a couple of his friends, but we also knew our father did not want people knowing he was sick at all. He always downplayed these things, but we could not lie to our Aunts and our adopted Aunts and Uncles, our father's closest friends. So we called them and we told them what we knew and what we didn't know. We exhorted promises not to tell our cousins to keep it all very quiet until Dad had been told and until Dad talked to them. This turned out to have been a very good decision, because sometimes a person can't say a thing and yet wants you to know. They don't know how to tell you, how to put into words in this case that your life was being threatened.

My Dad was a person of amazing optimisim and action in the face of the most difficult situations. He had beaten odds most wouldn't believe. Part of his method was a wierd outward denial with an inner truth and positive determination to move forward in an optimistic way. It worked. Sometimes it was frustrating to be on the other end or to watch, but it did work for most everything and everyone with him. He was like water dripping on a stone. He was stubborn and didn't give up. He was long term in his goals and in his fight. Dad was many many things.

The next day, we visited the hospital. Dad had been visited by the Surgeon early in the morning and he was silent, pre-occupied; mentally - physically - spiritually in pain. His mouth and cheeks moved like he was chewing on something... a cud... a problem and his eyes frowned and I felt like they were watery almost crying. He was a man facing something he denied was there and that was his own mortality. Probably if I guessed, why was this happening, how could it happen, it wasn't possible, and how will I tell my daughters.

My youngest sister is not actually his daughter. My parents were divorced when I was five and my mother remarried and had another child with her husband, my step-father. That child is my sister, 12 years my junior. She was amazingly close to my father and he loved her incredibly much.

We three were in his room and we rotated the three of us, two of us and then my middle sister took my youngest sister away and I was left there. I mostly stayed every day all day with Dad at the hospital, when I was there.

I considered my father. He would not talk to any of us and he for the most part would not look at us. This had gone on for several hours and finally I decided to dance around the issue a little and perhaps make it easier on him. I said, " You know, I had a long talk with your Dr. last night." "You did?" "Yes, and I am completely aware of what is going on." "You are?", "Yes, and so is L. and so is M.". This is practically verbatim. It is clear in my memory like a movie. And as I looked at him he seemed less fretful and as if a weight had been lifted. 'How can I tell my daughters I have cancer?'. It is a horrible burden to consider and an awful weight to have to tell others particularly your children, who believe as a matter of course that you, their parent, are immortal.

So it was in retrospect good to have told our Aunts and Uncles. Truth is better than covering it up. Covering it up leads to even more of a burden and more stress. Eventually, one has to uncover the burden and bring it out into the light of day. Nothing or precious little stays hidden forever. I have found through this process that more openess is better than less. The question of how, when, who, and how much are subtlties that must be considered. A steam roller of truth is not useful and is often destructive where constructive is needed. Tact, diplomacy, truth must be considered.

That is all I am going to write tonight. It is long, written in retrospect and 20/20 hindsight. It is the first chapter.

Late Night Surfing

2004-09-16T01:03:00.000-07:00

I am finally convinced that spending time making a blog might not be so bad. Either I'm here or surfing this time of night and sometime it gets frustrating so maybe this will encourage me focus more on my work and less on the laundry???? We'll see.

I have too many interests and not enough time. I love to spin, weave, dye, needlefelt and other fun things. I also have become enamored of lampwork and have been making fun beads. I love making frogs on a bead! I have a serious penchant for researching ancient and other textile artifacts and traditions.

I have to figure out how to use the photo loading tool and then I can make this more interesting.